Living for yourself?

     I cannot tell you how many articles I have seen over my Mommydom life that tells us (mommies especially) that you need to put yourself first. Your needs, need to be met first. "If mommy ain't happy, no one is gonna be happy."  All of these statements have some reality to them. Especially when played on our human, fleshly beings. We want and desire so much. But, to be a parent first, is self sacrifice. To be a good human in this world is self sacrifice. To be a Christian, following Jesus' example of self sacrifice is essential. 

     The word self-sacrifice, does not bring up visons of luxury or even fun. It brings up thoughts of drudgery. 

     My family lived in an amazing place. A place where people had so much money that others that were very well off, felt disadvantaged. That is weird, I know. But, it's where we came from. But, with all of this wealth around us, sacrifice was a funny word. I'm sure it is everywhere. Or at least most places in the U.S.  We feel like we are being sacrificial if we bring groceries to the food pantry. We feel sacrificial if we say we are giving up an activity or item we desire. Although, why do we give it up? Not many that I knew gave up an activity or item and took the money from that and gave it to another. That is sacrifice for another. We have lost sight of that word in our world today, I'm afraid. 

     We have all read that Moses and Abraham all sacrificed lambs and goats on the alter to God. But, we are so removed from that world that we don't get it. Goats and lambs Equalled money to them. It was a big deal. Your most beautiful, strongest and best breeders of your herd was to be sacrificed.  That is the one goat that would help you produce many more healthy, strong goats; was to be sacrificed. 

     My family learned about tithing. As do many believers. And we try hard to practice it. In this world, it is very difficult. Although, I'm sure it was back in bible times too. But, sacrifice is more then tithing and lambs. It's about doing something that is hard. Giving until it hurts. 

     I remember having a guest speaker one time at church. We had been singing a song about being a living sacrifice. The pastor got up and said, "Wow.  Do you realize what you just sang? You know these are not just words? This was worship and prayer in singing form. You just told God to take your life and use it as a sacrifice. That you wanted to be a living sacrifice. These aren't just words. I hope you meant it. Because you just prayed it. And God wants to take you up on it."

     That shook me. I started thinking about that. Did I mean it? Come on, all of us Christians will say that we are being a living sacrifice. Or that we would. IF God asked us to. 

     But.... Do we really mean it. Do we really think God is going to call on little old me? I'm no body. I'm so unimportant. 

     Well, David was incredibly insignificant. A young Shepard boy. Nothing special. And Look what God called him to do. 

      Jesus was and is THE ultimate sacrifice. And we as Christians have heard this over and over. Even to the point of becoming numb to that phrase. Jesus wasn't JUST a sacrifice like the lamb on the alter. He lived his whole life as a LIVING SACRIFICE. That means that instead of staying close to home near his family and living a quiet life as a carpenter, he started his ministry. He gave up his worldly possessions, his family, his comfort, to travel the area preaching and loving the unloveable. Again, the phrase; loving the unlovable is a common one in churches. We love to think we love the unlovable. I mean we donate food to the pantry, we give money or food to the homeless guy on the corner. We donate our old clothes. We even make meals for our sick friends. But, Jesus gave up his whole life of family and comfort to be homeless. 

     Luke 9:58 says that, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests but, the son of man has no place to lay His head."

     He was homeless. Seriously. Dwell on that. 

     Where am I going with all of this? Well, I'm talking to myself mostly. I'm figuring out that the term "living sacrifice" is not a pretty, neat and tidy thing. It isn't even pleasant a lot of the time. I am figuring this out as God has called my family to be just that.... Living sacrifices. 

     We have given up our lives to be here with my grandma. I'm not talking about this to toot my horn. That defeats the purpose. I'm writing this, like I said, to work this out in my mind. And maybe my children. We are so far from being Jesus. We are not marching straight to a cross to be slaughtered like a goat on an alter. We are mere servants. We are selfish and grouchy and frustrated much of the time. Something I don't see Jesus being very often in the bible during his life with us thick headed people. We are called to do hard things. Things that are not always pleasant. I always thought I was making so many sacrifices. I cared for my husband and my kids. 

Matthew 5:43-48 says that just living and caring for my family and friends is nothing more then anyone else. 

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

But, giving up our life as we knew it to care for a grouchy, but lonely and needy old lady and live in a "foreign" land, give up money and comfort is huge for us. This was way more then we had ever done. Of course we love Grandma. But she can be very unlovable. I know tht is unkind to say that but, I'm being honest. And I don't mean because she has dementia. She has always been a bit..... Unlovable. 

John 15:13 says:

13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Jesus cared for so many types of people. By giving up what we have always known to help Grandma stay in her home where she is comfortable and feels safe, is a huge sacrifice. We are truly living as a sacrifice. This is our mission. It may not be South America or Africa,but it's also not for a short trip. It's our life.  Our whole life. We aren't sleeping on the ground. We aren't eating honey out of a log. But, we are eating strange foods, living in strange surroundings. Not having a future plan. Living in today. That is the most terrifying. Living in today. Not having a retirement plan, no college fund for the kids, not much in the savings account even. Irresponsible? Probably. According to the world we are totally doing everything wrong. But, according to the bible we are not to worry about tomorrow. 

     Now, the question is; how long can we do this for?

Not sure.