Cupcakes

                 I had a very long week. My oldest went away for Junior High Camp. That alone made it difficult. Not all of my chicks in their roosts.... Something felt askew all week for that alone. Then I found out someone that had claimed to be a "dear " friend is threatening to sue my husband's company, my 4 year old lost his second tooth (somewhat traumatic for him), my second son fell on the blacktop and road burned his knee pretty bad, bled a lot. It is still weeping the next day. My mom had to go check in my 83 year old grandma to see if she can still live alone. I was presented with information about part of my family I thought I would never know (And didn't realize how sad I had been to not know it). THERE WAS A MOUSE IN MY HOUSE!!! (It's dead now!! AAAHHH..) I have joined my homeschool groups board and am working feverishly to get so much done for a big meeting we are having, to share what will be happening this next year, and trying to show some people that I truly think we need to move in a direction with the group but, am getting resistance due to cost. Vision doesn't include cost. God will cover the cost if the vision is HIS. We have the ability to test this. (sorry tangent). I have made calls this week to people I hadn't talked to in years. And kinda wish it were still that way. I have to line up all of the curriculum for all 4 of my kids before school starts back up. I am having trouble with  science. I don't really like to teach science. It can be messy. And sometimes too detailed. I love history. Can we just do history all day??? My garden is dead. RIP. I've done laundry all day. Ugh! I hate laundry. My house is cluttered with stuff in places it shouldn't be. I have boxes in my living room that need to be unpacked. I was going to finish unpacking. There never seems to be enough time. I don't know where to put it all anyway. My landlord is taking 4 weeks to replace the half open blinds. Everyone can see in. I just want to do it myself. Went to 2 meetings at night this week. The first one went until 10:00 p.m. I usually am in my jammies and cuddly on the couch by then. That was tough. Got a lot of work done though. The other one was awful. The lady talked too much about herself and it was BORING! Don't tell my kids I said that word. It's a bad word in my house. I'll have to scrub the floor or something. Oh yea. I already do that. I miss my cleaning lady. She was awesome.

                It has been a long week. I am feeling low. And tired. 

                My friend comes by this evening while I was on the porch with my husband talking about the day. And brings me a box of CUPCAKES!!! Really. Cupcakes. Vanilla with cream cheese frosting. They are beautiful. And they taste heavenly. Really. We skipped dinner. We all ate cupcakes. We really did. That is a true friend. One that brings you a treat just because. And when she said she was free for all of the kids to play (she has 4 as well), I said, " Oh. I'll be stuffing and addressing 130 envelopes to send out for the homeschool meeting." She says, "I'll come by and help." WHAT!? Did you hear what I said? Addressing envelopes. That isn't fun. She heard me. That is a good friend. I think I love her.                     Cupcakes.... ummm. I think there might be one or two left. Maybe I should go have another half. 

               Thank you friend, for the cupcakes. That was just what I needed today. I think it will be a great weekend. 

Tinker Bell's Gifts or Talents

            I have an odd habit that my husband pointed out once, that when I read anything or watch a show or movie, I am always looking for the God message in it. Weird, huh? Really, I see messages of Christianity and God in so many books and movies. I think some call it world view. Scooby Doo teaches you to really stop and scrutinize what others tell you. To never take anything for face value. That may be a mask and someone trying to do something in a way that isn't out in the open. There might just well be alterier motives. This is what I teach my children. There are messages both good in evil in everything around us. Some intentional and some, not so sure.
           Have you ever seen the movie Tinker Bell? I know it seems like a funny question to ask an adult but, really it is a good movie. It is all about how Tinker Bell came to be. If you know anything about fairy lore, you know fairies are born when a baby laughs for the first time. What you learn in the movie is how she became a tinker fairy and truthfully how she struggles with her gift or talent. Not to give away the movie but, after she is born, Tinker Bell must "choose" her talent. Funny thing about choosing is that she doesn't really choose. The talent "chooses" her. Or it is what she is born with and this is how she finds out. She doesn't really even want to go towards the hammer. It follows her and glows "brighter then anyone else's gift ever glowed!" Now comes the beginning of the dilema, she now catagorized as a tinker and she must go with the other tinkers. She is less then thrilled. The two tinkers are well,... dorky, geeky. She would rather go be a garden fairy or a water fairy. They are pretty and their talent is "useful".
             She spends so much of the movie rejecting her talent to go after something she thinks is much more glamorous. She tries many different talents and flops terribly at them all. Yet, you see she is overwhelmingly gifted in tinkering with things. Making things work. Even when she "runs away" to be alone she ends up tinkering with something trying to fix it. It is something she is just drawn to.
             I wonder, am I a tinker fairy? Do I possess a gift from God that I don't think is important enough or glamorous enough? Do I reject the talent that is right at my finger tips all day long? This is a good question for us all to ask. I asked my kids. I made them think about how do we discover our talents? A glowing hammer isn't going to appear out of thin air and circle us to tell us we should be a contractor. But, we do things everyday that tell us what our talent is and what gifts God has blessed us with.
            Don't be discouraged if your talent is organizing or cooking. Maybe you are an encourager. Are you really good at make-up? and hair? We have been taught in church the last couple of weeks that God doesn't bless us with gifts and talents to make our lives happy and comfortable. Not to bless ourselves. We are given those talents to bless others.
           Tinker Bell finds out, and so do the other fairies, that tinker fairies are one of the most important fairies. Everyone needs the tinkers. It may seem like a non-luxurious job but, it is so needed to make everyone else's life run smoothly. Tinker Bell finally understands that her gift is a blessing and she is proud that she is so good at it. She saves the day with her many tinkering abouts. The sad part for Tinker Bell was, she wasn't going to get to do the glorious job. She had to stay back and continue to tinker while everyone else went to far away places to do their jobs. It seemed she was missing out on the spotlight.
             God needs all of us. "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with  Christ." 1 Corinthians 12:12 We are all needed. All of our "parts" or talents are important. If everyone was a garden fairy, nothing would grow. There would be no water, or light, no bees to pollinate and no tools to help you plant. 
             Be proud of the gift you possess and figure out how to use that gift to the best of your ability. Be a Tinker fairy and be proud. 

Keeping My Sense of Humor

        

"Do you like my silly face, Mom?"

           Who knew that raising kids would be so.... funny? I mean, we all have moments when we want to cry, and especially times we want to scream (and truthfully many times we do both). But, laugh? No one told me this. I used to love comedies, at the movies, now who needs them? I've got kids. Right? And the amount of children you have living under your roof is directly correlated with how often you will laugh. Well, that is if you remember to stop and look around at the absurdity of the situation you are in.
            Examples are plentiful, but let me share a couple from the last couple of days. Night before last, I had gotten everyone in bed, and was enjoying my end of the day shower. You know when I get to wash off all of the "stuff" that has accumulated on me. Both physically and emotionally (I pray a LOT in the shower). I emerged feeling peaceful and calm, only to open the curtain to see 2 year old girlie standing there. I gave her my stern, "You better get your booty in bed." This was followed by her mumbling something and whimpering. I repeated as I followed her, as did she, mumbling and whimpering. After I successfully chased her back to bed, I finally told her, "I can't hear you with your binky in your mouth" and pulled it out. When she promptly said, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" very sleepily. I snapped, "To get to the other side! Now go to sleep!"
This was all followed by my darling husband busting up in the hall outside her room. "O.K. It's funny, but, I was focused." He said, "focused? You didn't miss a beat!"
               Flash to today, same said 2 year old is sitting on the potty, throwing a bit of a tantrum. I am really not sure why. She's 2! Does it really need anymore explanations?! So in the midst of the tears, screams, and (let's face it ) drama, she screams. "I'm a BIG GIRL! WHAAAAA!" Yes, I did step back and laugh. I have felt this very feeling in the midst of a break down but, it is still no less ironic to those around.
               The comedy of the moment is many times forgotten and brushed aside. Mom is often tired, busy, or even feeling less then joyful and the moment is lost. A moment that God put there to lighten the feeling. But, I worry that if I am not paying attention or someone isn't, we will miss those moments. Mom's breathe. This is that time when we are down in the trenches and it gets hot, messy, stinky, and darn it, I want my tea!! But, God is blessing you with the tiny moments. Pick your head up out of the trench and look back into it. Life with kids, is funny. I know my family has been known to make perfect strangers laugh. So often I have wanted to snap, "I'm glad you think my life is so entertaining! I'm so happy I could make YOU laugh today!" That is when we need to look back in. It is funny.
                O.K. gotta go. 2 year old girlie is missing and quiet. Not a good combo. Last time I heard this much silence in my house, the now 10 year old boy was redecorating his bedroom with a container of baby powder. Yea, not pretty. I think he was 2 then as well. Gotta love toddlers.

P.S. I found her. She came crawling in the room with her brothers raccoon skin cap on saying, "I'm a skunk mommy. Oh what do skunks do?" Yea, gotta stop and laugh a little each day.

Art of Being Joyful

                                                    5 Thimbles by Paula Grizzell DeMarini

          I read a great book. I am not a book reviewer by nature. I do love to read but, with life the way it is in our household right now, I don't have much opportunity to read for pleasure. I am usually studying about what or how to teach a particular subject to my kids. Or I am researching a topic for someone (usually myself, my husband or helping one of the kids).  Then of course there is the time I should be reading my bible. Well, I an aunt of mine posted on Face Book about a book that one of her cousins wrote about her childhood. She said it was good. I was intrigued. She is family and she is writing about my family-some I know -some I don't. I would love to know more about. I was really thinking it was going to be more about family history. A little geneology. I even e-mailed my aunt to ask her about the book. She said it was interesting to her because she knew everyone and it was what was going on when she was growing up. But, maybe not so interesting to me, or someone that didn't know everyone one.  

         Well,..... Sorry Aunt Feda to say you were not right. I loved the book. My husband really loved hearing the stories. He even said he wanted to read it when I was done and he doesn't really read those kind of books. Yes, there were people I knew the names (my mom was mentioned once) but, the story and the heroism in the book brought such intense emotions. I was struck by the theme of gratitude in the book. The joyful way she wrote about such difficult events and topics that was her life. Her life was anything but, rich and happy in the way you and I look at it. The mother in this story encouraged me to be a better mom. One that doesn't complain so much. One that doesn't get discouraged by such trivial things. This mom didn't know the meaning of ME time. She devoted her whole life to the care of her children. This isn't a sappy, sacrifice yourself for all of those around you to be a great person. It is a sacrifice yourself for the furthering of others and yourself will be furthered in the end. 

"But, many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then." Matthew 19:30 NLT

(For my purest family. "But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first." KJV)

             This book is a MUST read for those of us struggling with what it is God is doing in our life and why he isn't trusting us with so much more. Beware if you buy the book and don't tell me, you may be getting one for Christmas. I liked it that much. And beware of the effect in your daily life it may have on you. You may suddenly look at your life and those around you much differently. As well as, you may suddenly want to do some mission work. Local or far away. There are many here that really need help. Food, blankets, sweaters, water, a bible, etc. What would have been different for the family in the book if more had participated in their well being? How many DID participate in the help and care of them? This is actually how a village helps to raise a child. 

             Please take the time to read this inexpensive little paperback book and let me know how it effected you. And First cousin once removed Paula Grizzell DeMarini, what a fantastic perspective you have. Your willingness to right kindly about unkind things and people was amazing. You have a gift for saying things in a joyful manner. I hope I can learn and be so kind.

What Brings Joy in Your Day?!

          

           First, this could get a little PG rated so, if you're not married or under age maybe you might want to wait to read my next post. Sorry, had to add the disclaimer. 
             So, I was thinking about my days. How there seems to be chaos, and busyness all day long. Well, really often even into the night. My daily responsibilities are quite numerous. To name just a few on a regular, mellow day (of which there is never one of those). 

1. Getting everyone up on time
2. prodding on the dressing and chore time
3. bathing and dressing not only myself, but the 2 "littles"
4. making beds
5. cleaning up
6. breakfast
7. DISHES
8. clean-up anything else in the way for lessons
9. lessons
10. refereeing squabbles
11. encouraging
12. laundry
13. planning meals
14. grocery shopping
15. vacuuming 
16. potty patrol (2 year old still needs to be reminded to go)
17. sweeping
18. fielding any phone calls
19. calendar juggling
20. taxi driver to get to appointments and classes on time
21. time keeper
22. floors to wash
23. bathrooms to clean (showers, etc)
24. wiping noses, faces, and anything else that needs to be wiped
25. Lunch
26. DISHES
27. prepare dinner
28. get everyone ready to come in and eat
29. encourage them all to eat said HEALTHY meal
30. DISHES
31. cleanup 
32. bathes
33. p.j.s
34. stories
35. potty monitor
36. booty wiper
37. bedtime tyrant
38. Vitamin giver and watcher that they take them.
39. meanie that makes all stay in bed!

             I really could go on and on. Let me tell you, there is so much left out. Not to mention the surprises that I am always blessed with everyday. I will enlighten you a little on a few examples of those little interruptions blessings I get through the day. 

1. Potty training. That we poop in the potty. Not the floor.
2. bumped heads, arms, noses, legs, toes, and more
3. band aids!
4. unexpected visitors
5. dawdling
6. disagreements
7. leaking garbage disposals
8. weird smells
9. spilled food, drinks, soap, ice, toys, etc. on the floor to clean
10. markers (do I need to say anymore) 
11. toilet paper rolls-totally unrolled
12. tu-tu's getting caught
13. fingers stuck in various holes
14. odd objects in noses
15. things missing that were possibly swallowed. Or not

             I think you get the idea. I don't live a quiet and serene life. When I quit work while pregnant with my first son, my boss said she would keep my job available for awhile for when I got bored and wanted to come back..
UMMM.... REALLY?!
It's been almost 14 years since he was born (WOW I didn't realize I had one that old!!) and I don't think I have had a moment of boredom since then. NOPE. No boring days. I can truly say that. And really mean it. 


            Now, back to the title of this post. What brings joy into your crazy, busy days? What things give you that stranded on a beautiful white beach in the middle of nowhere with all of the comforts you couldn't live without, moment?
I truly thought about this as I hear new moms and new brides that look at my busy life of a husband, and 4 kids and homeschooling and they say, "No WAY! How do you do it? How do you not loose yourself? How do you find "ME" time? How does your husband still know you love him? How do you still know he loves you?!!" (First, we all know I have issues with ME time. So, we'll leave that one alone. )
                 So, here is my top list of what gives me my joy.

1. SWEET TEA (you knew that was coming. RIGHT?)
2. chocolate
3. a cold day, with homemade soup on the stove. And a glimpse of my children all getting along. For a moment.
4. T.V. time in the evening with my husband (that is our dates)
5. Early bedtimes for the kids
6. NOONERS!
7. talking on the phone with my childhood friend while we both clean up the kitchen in our homes
8. Laughter
9. reading the Bible first thing in the morning out loud with my husband before anyone else gets up.
10. playing games with my family
11. Oh and did I mention a little AFTERNOON DELIGHT
12. OOPS and Sweet tea

          I wonder if you notice a few patterns. First, I do a lot of dishes and cook tons...
Also, I love sweet tea (no surprise) and I love my husband. Those moments that I listed in the last list, are what brings my day joy. When I realize that I'm not feeling too joyful and I'm more grouchy then pleasant, I need to find one of those things on my brings joy list to do. It means I have gotten sucked into the "have to's" and the the vortex of busyness.
Yes ladies, I know we are busy and tired and stretched to our limit. It seems so much easier and less trouble to reach for the chocolate, a latte, or a sweet tea but, if we are truly looking for refreshing moment, actually a little flustering moment, take a moment with your Honey. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to delight in your latte. It does say to delight in each other.  Proverbs 5:18 says- May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
         Yea, it really says that. So, in case you have forgotten, You used to delight in him often. Before kids. Before dishes. Before poop on the floor. Remember how you would get so excited about seeing him before you were married? Now when he walks in the door, do you stop. Do you even acknowledge that he is home? Do you go out of your way to do the special little things he likes? Get him that special treat from the store? He is the one that used to bring you joy in the middle of your day. Is he still?


         Also, if you haven't read Song of Solomon (some Bibles call it Song of Songs) lately, go for it. Actually, try reading it out loud to your husband. You might be surprised what is in there. Now that you are an adult and are able to really experience all that he says in the book. Go for it. Have a little joy in the afternoon. 

Listening When HE Talks.

          

To Listen Wholeheartedly. 

            Well, here I am again, in the middle of the night. Feeling unsettled. What is it? Why the unsettled feeling in my soul tonight? Actually, I have felt it all day. Our pastor has been talking on God talking to you and how we need to be ready and quiet and listening. It's imperative to have a dedicated prayer life and to read daily. However, he says he has talked to people that have said to him that God told them something. He says he is always amazed that they are still standing. He says that if God talked to him, he doesn't think you could even answer from the overwhelming power, awe, etc. of God himself. I suppose you could site the story of God having to put his hand over the crevice where Moses was so that He could pass by. And that the glory of God shown on Moses face when he spent time on the mount to receive the tablets. Exodus 34:29-30 ²⁹ When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD. ³⁰ When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him.
In Exodus 3:6 Then he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.
              I can see how someone might say that to HEAR God would be almost (maybe) horrifying. I am struggling with this. The reason? I have heard God. I know, I have now had several of you roll your eyes and maybe even turn off this page. But, it is true. When my second son was so very sick and in the NICU for so long, I was up for many hours. I lived on very little sleep. I figured out once that I was living on 4 hours, accumulated sleep. I would catch time here and there when I could. One reason was because not all of the medical staff liked me being at my child's bedside at all hours of the day and night. I suppose, I was infringing on their turf. Not all of the nurses were that way though. Many said they would do the same. During this time, I was closer to God than I had ever been. I prayed a steady stream. I understand the passage in the Bible that says to pray without ceasing. I also read my bible a lot. I was seeking his guidance and comfort. 
            Well, one night I thought that I could slip off to bed for a few winks of sleep. My little darling was fed and sleeping. No meds scheduled for a few hours. I had a nurse that I thought was going to be on my side. Well, I had no sooner laid my head down and I heard, very clearly, "Get up! He needs you now!" I even was already on my feet. I didn't realize that there was no one in the room to say the words I heard until I hit the NICU door. Where I found the nurses all around my son's nurse as she was feeding him a bottle. (This was something that was against what I had researched. What he was wrong with my son would be helped much more with breast milk. And he had actually had a problem with the formula in the first week. ) When I walked through the door, she went pale and shook her head ( the other nurses spread out and I heard a lot of murmuring about me always being there, and I always seem to know. ) and asked, "How did you know?"
              I answered, "He told me." At the time it didn't seem strange. I just took it for granted the God had told me and it was normal. Even though I realized later that it really isn't a normal everyday occurrence. 
            Am I crazy? I didn't die. I didn't fall down in fear? Does that make me irreverent? Some would say that the sleep deprivation made me a little crazy. Maybe. But, I remember that moment in that 4 months so much more clearly then anything else. There other moments like that where I felt God's presence but, only that time when I heard him. 
           Well, as I struggle with the before mentioned sermon that was taught in church and think maybe I am crazy, I read this morning in my Bible: Acts 9:10

¹⁰ In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”
   “Yes, Lord,” he answered.

                 Ananias didn't die either. He just answered. There are several examples just like this. 

What about Samuel? He was still a child when it happened to him. 

I Samuel 3:10- ¹⁰ The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”
   Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”


           Of all of the stories where God speaks or calls someone, Samuel's story is my favorite in that he is an innocent child and he doesn't even know it is God calling him. Also, it says that the Lord came and stood there. Samuel was still able to speak. 
             So with that said I think it safe to say, that God does speak on rare occasions. I am not saying that you sit and have a daily conversation in the way you and I could sit and talk. I think that when He wants to talk, He does. I just pray that if He ever talks to me again, I am listening. I am not from the camp of, "God CAN move mountains, He just chooses NOT to." I don't believe that for one minute. I believe He moves mountains everyday. We just are in a world that never stands still long enough to notice. He says, in Psalm 46:10-

¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”

           
               I know that my God talks and probably even sings. I know that he is here and everywhere. I know that He loves me and is concerned with the things that concern me. After reading that passage above about Samuel again, I know sometimes, he even stands near us. With that I hope that I can always say, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

Mother Knows Best?

            I read an article that cut me right to the quick.  This mom wrote; The Opposite of a 'Tiger Mother": leaving your children behind. I was shocked that this woman wrote this and expected people to agree with her. Thought that there was many women that she was freeing from the bonds of motherhood. Well, maybe she will strike a cord with some women. But, how terribly sad for those children. I know she says that the kids are happy and like the arrangement but, what else could they say? First, children are adaptable. We have heard tale of children growing and even thriving in conditions that were unbearable to most of us. God made them rubbery. Bounce-able. She is sighting that men have done it for generations and, no one thinks any less of them. I disagree. Whether you are a mom or dad, that is the child that God blessed you with. There are many couples miserably suffering without children. They aren't just your responsibility, they should be your delight to care and love them.

            No, a man that choses to move 3,000 miles away from his children and not want any custody of them is despicable. Just like her. Children are not expendable. They need parents to love and guide them. Is this the Ultimate Me time or what?! That is how this starts you know. First, you buy into the, "I need ME TIME. So I can be a good parent. " The next progression is Vacations away (Yes, this really is encouraged in many parenting magazines today). To finally, society accepting this. A mother's abandonment of her children. I am appaled that this woman carried these children in her womb, supposedly was an attachment parent, and even a family bed mom. Then she leaves? How does that happen? Did anyone check her mental stability? Really, it sounds like the marital issues got the best of her. She feels slighted because her husbands job takes him away for days at a time and she is feeling abandoned by him. "It isn't fair if my husband doesn't take his turn caring for the kids." Have you heard that? How about, "take turns with getting up in the night to feed your baby. Even if you breast feed, he can go get the baby for you." These comments breed discontent. Life isn't fair. Remember hearing that in school? Marriage isn't a series of checks and balances. 

          "You take this trash out now and I will take it next time."

          What happens if he is paying the bills right then and you have to do it again? Are you going to get mad because, after all, it is his turn. This is where we get into trouble. Trying to make everything "fair" and "even". Is that love? Or is it marriage? Raising a family with someone else is caring for each other. You have strengths. So does your spouse. Use them. Maybe instead of each of you taking a turn going out with your friends for awhile, you could hang out together, or go for a walk somewhere together. 

  

            Your children will not always be little. There will be a day when they are all gone and you will have plenty of ME TIME. Yes, there are always days where we moms feel overloaded, and depleted. This will pass. You need to pray and ask God to fill you with HIM. That is why starting your day with prayer, meditation and His word is the best way to fight off these tiring days. Someday there will be no more diapers. Someday there will be no one waking you with a bad dream. God wants you to love these little ones. Everyday. Not when it is convenient. 

           One more perspective story and I will step away from this sad story. There is a very good Christian singer, Jana Alayra. She missed a red light on her way to church one day with her kids in the car. She was hit by another car and the car spun around. One of her beautiful little girls didn't make it. Here she was a busy mom like the rest of us. Busy, and probably running a little behind, like the rest of us. And in an instant her life was forever missing one of it's heartstings.  I know this is a harsh story and sad. But, please stop and think for a minute that every minute you have with your child or spouse could be the last moment you have with them. Do you really want it to be yelling at them? Or telling them all how you are not getting your fair share of time to yourself? Stop and think about what is important.

            I know you are tired and yet you have no time to sleep. You can get through this rough patch. You will become a better person because of it and in the mean time are you motivating your child to reach higher than you did. Are you letting your spouse know that you are so blessed to be married to someone that loves you so much?  God has put you with the right child for you. Even though you might not see eye to eye. That is why God made two parents for your child. You can bounce off of each other. In the mean time, love each other. Spend time with each other. Find joy in each other.     

           

             Proverbs 6:20

 My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  

I wonder ladies, how can a child keep to his mother's teaching if his mother has abandoned him.