My husband decided it was time to clean out Grandma's pond. Now the pond is man-made (actually Grandaddy made). It is about 30 x 6 feet and about 18 inches deep. There is a thick black plastic liner on the bottom. It has sharp rocks around the edge as decorations as well as to hold the liner. It is FULL of fish. Like goldfish. Only mostly red and white. Most are about a couple of inches long. It has enormous lily pad plants as well.
We don't know when the last time it was dumped completely but, it was so green it was almost black. There is also frogs. We figured a few small frogs.
So, my husband rents a HUGE trash pump ( the smaller one didn't cut it. Too much mud and gunk). In went the pump hose and the water starts squirting out on the lawn. Once it gets down a bit I worry that the fish need to be gotten out faster then my 6 year old with small fish net can manage. (Like for your fish bowl). So I kick off my shoes, take my iPhone out of my pocket and step into the mucky dark water to help grab fish. At the third step,.... Yep, you guessed it, I went down. My feet slipped right out from under me (who could have seen that coming?? Plastic bottom with mud and muck and fish poop covering it??) So, there I go, BAM. On my back, feet in the air, laying in fish poop!! OK. Go ahead and laugh.
Once I assessed that all of my body parts were OK, I laughed too. That's when I hear Grandma. We had set a chair out so she could watch us clean out the pond. I can hear her cackling like a bird. She is laughing so hard she can hardly catch her breath. Such compassion. Well, glad I could be the comic relief for the day!
Well, we grab fish by the handfuls. Although, we probably only save half. The strong suction of the pump pulled the other half out to the lawn. As my husband and I are more then ankle deep in this black water, he says, "I felt something big brumped against my leg."
STOP!
I grew up at the ocean. Someone says that, it's out of the water quick!!
I am so outta here!! Darling husband holds my hand to steady me so I don't slip again. I did slip and cut my foot on a rock but, he kept me from falling down again.
Husband stayed in the water (he had on waders) and continued to clean out the end of the pump hose and catch fish.
That's when he saw it! Something big. We all agreed it had to be a frog. We'd seen a few frogs already, decent sized ones. And we knew there were some that lived in there. We heard them all the time. And heard the splashes whenever we came near. But, this was no ordinary frog. It was black. And after we (husband) finally cornered it (let me say right here, he wasn't even excited about touching this thing. It was that big. he said it had spikes on its feet!) he made a grab for the frog .... OH MY GOODNESS!! It was HUGE. I mean like the pictures in fairy tales, huge!
It was as big as a cantaloupe. And I don't mean the mini ones. It took two hands and some strength to get that thing. Ends up, there were two of them that huge. Really. Two Jurrasic Park sized frogs. I'm so glad I got out of that water!
The rest of the pond cleaning went on without a hitch. We stationed children near the bucket so the frogs wouldn't jump away. And husband scrubbed the bottom and shoveled out mounds of mud and fish poop.
The pond got refilled and the fish and frogs went back in the water.
That night at dinner we were talking about it all. (I had taken a shower and cjanged my clothes.) Grandma couldn't remember that we had dumped the pond. She couldn't remember the frogs or anything. Then my husband says, "Do you remember Heather falling in the muck?"
Well, she started laughing. Silent chuckles at first. Then reall hearty laughing. Her whole body was shaking with laughter. "Yep. I remember that!"
Well, glad to help jog your memory.
I do have a bit of wisdom, albeit sad wisdom from that experience. When you are 20 and you fall like that, you get up and laugh. When your 40 and fall like that, you fall, lay there a minute to take stock. Then you get up and laugh. But, wow, are you sore the next day!!
The next day at church someone asked if I was OK. I guess I winced a bit when I sat down. So I told them what happened (grandma laughed ll over again). And I even said that about being 20 and 40. Well, we go into the older couples room for Sundy School class. These people are quite a bit older then my husband and I. Well, one older lady says, "Well and when your 60 and fall your probably going to break a hip!"
That's when an even older man spoke up next to her and said, "And when your 80, after you fall you look around and wonder, "Where am I?"
So much to look forward to. That's it. A day in our life here. I mean why should Grandma be the only one laughing at me, right??
If you ever need you fish pond cleaned out, please don't call me. I am still wincing a bit and had to see the chiropractor. 
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