High School and Potty Training

     My biggest fears about parenting and homeschooling are potty training and high school transcripts.

Really.

     When my husband and I discussed having children, potty training was the biggest fear I had. I figured the rest would work itself out. I had been to school for teaching kids. I knew what to do (yea, right.). But, I also, had a healthy fear of what those little monsters precious children were capable of.
I had seen horror in bathrooms from power hungry children. I had seen parents normally so controlled and put together, crumble into begging, whining adults trying to coax their little darlings into the bathroom.  No, I didn't relish the idea of training my child to do that. Not to mention the disgust of the "not making it" moments. I had many of them through my preschool teaching time and even more on this side of the parenting spectrum. Now it seems a little funny all of those days and moments spent in the bathroom. But, it still sends chills up my back to see a little one welding the power of the toilet over his parents.
     You see, all of that schooling to get my Early Education-education taught me a few things. But one of the scariest is the two places that all toddlers have control, is in regards to food and the bathroom.
And many figure out just how powerless their parents are in these two areas pretty quick. And I dare say, it amuses them.
     I made it (mostly) through the potty training stage. (I do have one that has to sleep with a pair of rubber pants at night).
     So here is the next problem. High School transcripts. When we decided to homeschool I actually remember saying I wasn't excited about high school and that cutting up a piglet fetus on my dining room table was just gross. I have truly been worrying over this since my oldest was in about 4th grade. I know, with so much time, you would have thought that I would have it buttoned up what to do and how to do it. No. I actually went to many meetings of some of our veteran moms talking about how to do just that. Navigate through the high school curriculum and transcripts. I would get overwhelmed and shut down. It was like when my algebra teacher (he was SO cute) would try to teach me how to do a particular problem and I'd phase out. I'd focus on his cologne or the really nice hair he had (O.K. Cut me some slack. He had been some rad (80's word) model before he taught Algebra to high school kids). Or if it were really bad, I'd go to the Peanuts. You know. That moment in the Charlie Brown cartoons when the teacher would talk. Whaa Whaaa whaaa whaaa. That is it. All that went into my ears.




So here I am on the cusp of my oldest child's Freshman year and I all can hear is Wah wah wah.

O.K. I might have gotten away with it in high school (sorta). But, I'm not going to get away with it now. This is my son's future. I have to put on my big girl panties and just buckle down and do it!!

     Wish me luck. Or as my son #3 says, "Wish me blessings. God doesn't do luck." And I'll go dust off that book about high school courses of study and transcripts I bought about 5 years ago and couldn't bring myself to actually read, and study it intensely now.

Baby Boy Driving.

     He was perfect. I had dreamed of him my whole life. And he was just the way I had dreamed. Soft skin, beautiful blue eyes, cute little nose, sweet little lips.
My first child. My son. My precious little darling. I loved him so much that it actually, physically hurt me. I didn't know that I could live that much. My heart swelled. It was huge with love for him.
     He grew. He loved me back. He would grab my hand. He'd cuddle up next to me to watch his favorite show. When we were apart, he'd squeal, and ran to me, so excited to see me
And the best part? Sometimes when I was really blessed, he'd look at me, and say, "Mommy, I love you."
     What more would any mom want? Yes I was smitten by my firstborn son.
Well, he's growing up. He has hit many milestones. One by one. I celebrated each one. His Birthday came yesterday. He turned 15. I thought that was a big deal. Then today happened.
Today my oldest son was learning to drive. He and my husband got in the 1972 Jeep Commando that my husband restored. The thing is super hard to drive. It's a stick shift. No power anything. Not brakes, steering. And certainly not windows. My husband says if he can drive that he can drive anything.
     So, there we go. My baby boy driving. He was so intense. Very focused. I was so proud. And misty all at once. He drove by our house about 5 times.
     Well, it's happening. He's growing up. I'm so happy he's growing up.   Also very proud. But, I'll tell you the truth. It is happening. Going quickly are the days when I am his favorite person in his life. That is good. But still pulls at a moms heart strings. Especially when it is the first born. First there will be driving, then college classes, his job and a woman. Not any woman. THE woman. The woman that will take my place. Is it weird that I see my son driving and I go to the woman that will hold my sons heart??
     I'm so excited for those days to come. I am nostalgic for the cuddle time on the couch and the little boy squealing that I'm home. So here I am. Quite aware that I am watching the end of my little boys mother worship. Have you been here? How am I supposed to feel?