Sweet Tea Makes Me Happy: The Blessings Are Overflowing.

   There are so many things in my life that 20 years ago I never would have thought I would do or be able to do. Some I am proud of, some I am still stunned. I had such a small vision of what I wanted to do with my life. I have fulfilled what I wanted to do, I suppose. I just hadn't thought of all that goes with it. When I dreamed of my life, this is where I went;
I wanted to be married to a man that adored me. Check
I wanted 2 kids. Check. Well, double check that one.
I wanted a boy and a girl. Check, check, check and ... check.
I wanted to live in a big house with a yard and a garden. Been there done that. Now I am moving on from that.
I wanted to stay home with my kids and raise them. Well, got that one covered and then some.
I wanted to be the mom that was home all day to bake cookies for when the kids came home from school, have a nice dinner, etc. Use that time during the day to get things done so I could be with my kids as they needed me when they got home. Well, curve ball number one. And it is a doozy!
Homeschooling changes that one enormously. I may have been too attached to the one where I stay home with my kids...

   After all of that life didn't seem to factor into my ideas of what it would all be like.
I never thought I'd have 4 kids. Or homeschool. That was for weird people. Freaks. I never thought I could have survived, much less, thrived through all we have been through in our marriage.
My husband and I look back over our 20 years that we have been together and we can easily see where God's hand has been. We can look at the "tapestry" and see the beautiful colors ALL weaved together. The dark sad times with the joyful happy times. Woven together are so pretty.
I always wonder about the stretching times. The times when you feel like God is just asking too much. I mean does HE really not get that I haven't had enough time to get my husbands underwear washed yet? And there is a funky smell in the bathroom that I haven't bleached out yet. There are dinners to cook, curriculum to decide, hiney's to wipe, and all of the other practicals that keep a family of 6 just treading water. Not to mention, but we must to have, any joy, just that,... joyful things. Going to the beach, walks in the harbor, playing catch with the boys, watching the boys football games, teaching the littles to swim. These things take up time that is necessary as well.
   Then HE hits me a ball out in left field. Really. Not one I expected. I am now on the board of my homeschool group. I'm sorry, doesn't having 4 kids exempt me from being asked? Doesn't that job belong to someone with one, MAYBE 2 kids? Well, this year, God said, "NO!" It is my turn He says.
I pray often that God will send me a burning bush like Moses to make it pretty clear the direction I am supposed to go. I have ignored and justified my way out of not following God's prompts before. Well, it hurts in many ways when you are praying for God to use you and you choke when HE calls. HE makes you realize it would be much easier to just do the difficult task HE asks then... NOT. Either He will give you a swift kick in the back side or worse, HE will find someone else and pass by you the next time. "I guess that one can't be trusted to be given any responsibility."
   Well, as the offer was made to lead this group, I sat prepared to give my regrets and apologies that there was no way I should even be expected to do the job she was asking.
   Then there it was. The burning bush. Right there. I think I even started to laugh a little and said under my breath. Well, there it is. The burning bush. Even my husband, whom I pray with often, said as I repeated all that the person who asked me had said to me, "Well, how's that burning bush looking to you?"
Which was funny because he also was prepared for me to say no. Remember, he is still waiting for his clean underwear.
   That is when my mind started to go into a state of shock. As e-mails and phone calls and meetings start taking place to frantically get some things done before the school year started for most of us, I started wondering how I could hide from it all. "WHAT HAVE I DONE!!" Really. There aren't any spare moments that are around, unless I stop sleeping (which is what I am doing to write this). Really, I do my daughters hair often while I am going potty myself. (TMI sorry).
   Then we go to church, and the last few weeks it has been brought up that with much a servant is trusted, much a servant is given.

Matthew 25:23

New International Version (NIV)

   ²³ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
   So the more I am willing to give as far as serving my time, my understanding is that means the more time I should be given. I really need to give lots of time then.
   I so many times get a visual of my life. I have my hands cupped together and God is pouring oil into them. I am trying so hard to not let any of it out of my fingers to hit the floor. I can't do it. HE is pouring too much, too fast. Funny, because there are several places in the bible that to show wealth or abundant blessings, it says my cup runs over .

Psalm 23:5

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;

   my cup overflows.
It talks about something running over. And oil was traded and was an important commodity in bible times. They used olive oil for so much. To have much olive oil, was a sign of wealth. My visual is incomplete. The rest is this: as I start to panic and feel like I just can't do it all. I can't be expected to DO EVERYTHING! How can I keep all of this together and not spill any of it? I know they are blessings but, how can I hold on to it all? That is when I realize, HIS hands are cupped under mine. I'm not supposed to do it all. HE will. IF HE blessed me with something, HE will take care of it. I just have to make sure that I put HIS things first. And he will do the rest.
   So as I count my blessings (love that song. I sing it often to myself and my kids), I realize HE is there to count them with me. God is going to bless me as long and as big as I am willing to keep following his burning bushes. If HE makes it burn, He'll make sure I can do it.
   NO the 17 year old me would never have been able to do all that I am and have done. But, 17 year old me, wasn't asking God for burning bushes and counting blessings. 17 year old me has learned a few things. Thankfully.