A Wedding Gift (this one was written awhile ago and forgotten. So, I'll post it now just because. )

            So, a very sweet cousin of mine just got married. She is one of those people that you just want to be around. Smiling, vivacious, and beautiful. People can't help but notice her when she walks in the room. She is quite tall and striking. But, I'm writing because she is a newlywed. She is a new wife. Someday hopefully, a mama. She will be running a household. Her job will be extensive as those of us that have already taken on this job know.
            I am late with my gift because I have really wanted to get a gift that would be used and remembered. One that she would actually use. She will be living in Nicaragua for the first bit of her marriage. She is a missionary and now she is bringing her sweet new husband with her. So you can see my dilimna in that she won't be bringing all of the normal wedding gifts with her. Blenders, toasters, china, it will all be packed away in her parents attic until they return from their mission trip is over. I wanted to give her something she could use now.
            So, what have I decided on, you ask. Advice. I know, go ahead and groan. I'm no expert. I didn't go to college to be a marriage counselor. But, I am blessed with a marriage that I am so happy to be in everyday still. There aren't days that I wake up wishing I were somewhere else. Now that doesn't mean everything is always just the way I wish. No while my darling daughter threw up on my foot and all over the floor this morning, laying on a beach in Hawaii with a sweet iced tea, with an umbrella in my hand sounded divine. But, that is normal. It also doesn't mean that nothing bad has ever happened in our married time together. No in fact there are days I think we are getting more then our share of stressful, difficult times. Money troubles, horribly ill children, bedrest for months, family crisis, and so much more. But, it is those times over the almost 20 years that have brought us closer and love each other more.
              I will tell you that my husband and I have been together for 22 years this next Christmas. We have been married for 19 this July. I love him more then I did on that July afternoon 19 years ago and he is very truly my best friend.
              First, I ordered some books that I think are great for starting a marriage. A blank book to keep a "household book" as they used to call it in the old days. Or to journal ideas and advice. Recipes. Gathering of ideas on how to do something special for someone. The front says, "We remember moments  not days."I think that is so appropriate. It is true.
             Other books I ordered for her are: 1001 Ways to be romantic . I bought this book when we were getting married. I have used it many times over the years, not only for us and building our relationship but, for getting especially extra special gifts for anyone that you want to make an impression on. All of the ideas are different and out of the ordinary. He teaches you that romantic just means that you thought about that person and you know them, and think that what they say is important enough to remember. Who doesn't want a gift like that. Also, no matter how much time goes by, or how many kids you have, or what house or city you live in, it is essential that you always remember that you married him for a reason. That he married you for his own reasons. Remember that the marriage is the first thing to nurture. Not the kids and not everyone else in the families emotions.
             I got her two books on celebrating traditions. Celebrating the Christian year , and Celebrations that touch the heart are both books to help you come up with some fun traditions to start in your family. Both from a Christian point of view. I believe traditions can be super grounding. A way to pull the family in together. If you hear or kids that lived through very difficult lives growing up, it always seems to be the "traditions" that their family did that they clung to. That may sound weird but if a child that doesn't grow up with overwhelming love and joy and Christ in their life and those moments made them feel good and able to make it through another day, then what more can it do for our families?
             A Christmas memory book with their name on it. I bought one for Greg and I our first Christmas and we have been writing in it every year. We put in a picture and the card we sent. It is great to look back and see how God has blessed us from year to year.
             The Encyclopedia of Modern Cooking, I use mine to find interesting and new (old) recipes to share with my family. Why is this important? Because food/flavors is associated with memories. And Food is a good way to start traditions. My family growing up always made certain foods to go with particular holidays. I have continued some and added some of our own. Also, family comes back to the dinner table. It is good for us to eat together, break bread together. The dinner table is the place that as they grow up and move out we can still get them to come to and eat. And if they have a good memory attached to a particular food even better. Eating times should be associated with enjoyable moments.
             The Red Plate: we use this each night at dinner. We rotate who gets it. When you get it each person at the table has to tell you why you are special today. This not only teaches us to give and receive compliments (it's funny how we have had visitors come to dinner and they don't want the red plate because they don't know how to take a compliment. ) But, you also stop and think what happened that day, with that person. This helps us not take each other for granted. Did he wash your car today? Did she scrub the floor? Or Did they work so hard today for someone else and you noticed how hard they worked. It feels good to have someone say that they noticed.
             The package is sealed up now so I think that was all of it. I hope they like the gift. It is much work to locate each piece but, a well thought our marriage is going to be nurtured and thought of . Our marriages need to be thought of and purposely cared for. You can't get married and think that is the end of it. It keeps going. And the more people involved the harder it can become to nurture your own marriage. Whether it is a mother in law or a sister or children that come later. All will try to pull your attention away from your marriage. And many times we have the attitude that it will always be there. That now that the ceremony is over you can file it and put it on the back burner. Your marriage should always be on the front burner. Next to your relationship with God.
             O.K. the box is ready to send and my soap box is over. Thanks for taking the time to read this today. I hope it blessed you in some way.

Art of Being Joyful

                                                    5 Thimbles by Paula Grizzell DeMarini

          I read a great book. I am not a book reviewer by nature. I do love to read but, with life the way it is in our household right now, I don't have much opportunity to read for pleasure. I am usually studying about what or how to teach a particular subject to my kids. Or I am researching a topic for someone (usually myself, my husband or helping one of the kids).  Then of course there is the time I should be reading my bible. Well, I an aunt of mine posted on Face Book about a book that one of her cousins wrote about her childhood. She said it was good. I was intrigued. She is family and she is writing about my family-some I know -some I don't. I would love to know more about. I was really thinking it was going to be more about family history. A little geneology. I even e-mailed my aunt to ask her about the book. She said it was interesting to her because she knew everyone and it was what was going on when she was growing up. But, maybe not so interesting to me, or someone that didn't know everyone one.  

         Well,..... Sorry Aunt Feda to say you were not right. I loved the book. My husband really loved hearing the stories. He even said he wanted to read it when I was done and he doesn't really read those kind of books. Yes, there were people I knew the names (my mom was mentioned once) but, the story and the heroism in the book brought such intense emotions. I was struck by the theme of gratitude in the book. The joyful way she wrote about such difficult events and topics that was her life. Her life was anything but, rich and happy in the way you and I look at it. The mother in this story encouraged me to be a better mom. One that doesn't complain so much. One that doesn't get discouraged by such trivial things. This mom didn't know the meaning of ME time. She devoted her whole life to the care of her children. This isn't a sappy, sacrifice yourself for all of those around you to be a great person. It is a sacrifice yourself for the furthering of others and yourself will be furthered in the end. 

"But, many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then." Matthew 19:30 NLT

(For my purest family. "But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first." KJV)

             This book is a MUST read for those of us struggling with what it is God is doing in our life and why he isn't trusting us with so much more. Beware if you buy the book and don't tell me, you may be getting one for Christmas. I liked it that much. And beware of the effect in your daily life it may have on you. You may suddenly look at your life and those around you much differently. As well as, you may suddenly want to do some mission work. Local or far away. There are many here that really need help. Food, blankets, sweaters, water, a bible, etc. What would have been different for the family in the book if more had participated in their well being? How many DID participate in the help and care of them? This is actually how a village helps to raise a child. 

             Please take the time to read this inexpensive little paperback book and let me know how it effected you. And First cousin once removed Paula Grizzell DeMarini, what a fantastic perspective you have. Your willingness to right kindly about unkind things and people was amazing. You have a gift for saying things in a joyful manner. I hope I can learn and be so kind.