When Mama Bear Isn't Sure What To Do!

   

Don't mess with Mama bear!

      I am totally a Mama bear. You have heard of Tiger moms, I am a Mama Bear. Anyone that knows me would agree. Some don't like it. I've been told by some family they think it's a little too much even. Well, whether others like it or not, I am. No one can mess with my children without having to go through me. I'm not psycho about it, just very involved and protective.
     So, as a Mama bear, I know that my job is to stand up for my kids. Any threat to them will be dealt with. I will obliterate the threat and protect my cubs. It's a simple idea, right?
     Here is the problem that I have just recently encountered, and have been spending several days thinking, about in depth. When there is a threat to my children it is easy; I target the threat and protect the child.... What if the threat is the child itself? Meaning, what if my child chooses to do something that is harmful to him or herself? Making choices that are not good choices. What if my child choose to smoke cigarettes, do drugs, become enamored with someone that is not a good influence or worse. What if they choose to get involved in activities that can truly harm their character or influence their character in a negative way?
(Disclaimer: My kids are fine and not doing anything in this manner. I am listening to others talk about activities or choices their kids have made and I am reevaluating the Mama Bear instinct in me).
      I had always thought, it would be easy. I'd do whatever I had to do to keep my child from that activity. I would be happy going to extremes.






      But, that goes along with the idea that I was an amazing parent-BEFORE I had kids. Then reality sets in. Then you realize, you have a small window that you get to direct all of your kids activities. I am at some point demoted to coach rather then complete life director. When they hit the teen years I think we are just as important, in many ways more, but we need to take the passenger seat and let the teen drive. It's just like when they get their driving permit, we as parents, have to sit in the passenger seat and try to encourage and point out the best directions. Reminding them of the turn signals and when to brake so as to not jar everyone in the cars necks.  I am not in the drivers seat anymore. This is a terrifying place to be; both literally and metaphorically.
Some parents are really good at sitting in the passenger seat with their child driving. Some parents are more then ready to hand over their child's decision making to them. Mama Bear is freaking out isn't so sure. My mom was a freak in the car. Still is. I'm 41 years old and my mom will still hit the imaginary brake and turn the imaginary steering wheel when she is in the car with me. I don't think I'm that bad but, I am certainly not taking a nap either.
      So, back to the thought of them making choices for their own lives, I'm not sure what to do. If my child is going to make a poor choice for his or her life- who do I obliterate to keep them safe?! How do I protect my child from the danger if the danger is my own child's mind or intentions?
     I grew up with many girls that had eating disorders. Many had anorexia or bulimia. Those eating disorders started somewhere. Were there waring signs before they became bulimic? How do you as a parent deal with that? Or a girl or boy that has a desire to be with another that is so unhealthy for them to be with? How do you get rid of the threat if the threat comes from within your own child? (yes, you get counseling when it is necessary but, as a family how do you deal with it? And as you suspect the beginnings of it?) The issue becomes if I do too much I may drive my child right into the activity that is harmful. If I do too little, .... well, I should have done more.
     I don't know that there is one answer, but I will say that my parenting style of Mama Bear is having a very difficult time figuring out how to respond. I love my children fiercely. I would do almost anything for them. My children fully believe that if they were ever in trouble that their dad and I would be there to help them. But, how does Mama and Papa bear help a child from themselves?
     Boy, parenting was so much easier when they were little and the threat was a loose dog in the neighborhood or a mean child at the park.
     Well, here comes parenting teenagers!

Your Last Day.

   
      I'm sure you've heard someone say, "Live each day as if it were your last."
Have you ever thought of what that would mean? Everyone's last day would look different I'm sure. Some would spend that day at Disneyland, some would have a huge family get together, others would probably go sit outside and be with nature. I remember seeing a T.V. show where this couple, thinking the husband had a very short time to live, ran up an enormous debt vacationing and enjoying every second they had together.
     I'm not sure how living that way is going to be productive unless you tend to be a workaholic and never spend time on yourself. I even did a bible study using that thought as the premiss. I mean truthfully, if you have children and a spouse, you'd hope you would have things you wanted to tell them or share with them. That was the idea around the study. However, my mind went to other  places. Like, where I would like to go and things I want to eat!! Yea, I know, real deep. I suppose the truth has come out, I'm selfish. But, I wonder, aren't most of us? Maybe I'm going out on a limb here, hoping I'm not the only one that would think that way. I would tell my children how much I love them and all the important things I thought they would need to hear from me. Not so helpful would be that, I would spend much of the time being distraught over all I'd miss of their childhood and how they were going to get along without a mother. Then that would send me to the thought of- would my husband re-marry? NO! NEVER! He loves me too much. Then I would start thinking he should re-marry for his happiness and the kids. So, as you can see, that thought doesn't do me much good. Much mind wondering and distress over something that, hopefully, isn't going to happen any time soon.
     Then something very sad happened. One of the Pastors at our church had a daughter that was quite young come down with brain cancer. 
Jessie Rees was an amazing little girl that actually took the idea of, "what if this was my last day on earth" and left a huge imprint on so many. And since her journey to be with God, she is still making an impact. Wow. That is how we are all supposed to think when that question is posed to us. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I would. 
     It did make me think from another stand point though that did make an impact on me. The thought of that little girls parents and siblings living with the thought that any day she would likely be gone.  This thought horrified me. Oh my goodness, what if it were the last day of my husbands life, or my childs', or moms, etc. You get the idea. It is one of the many things that encouraged me to move back to TN to be with and help my Grandmother for those few short months. It has also been creeping into my head lately when I reprimand my children or get irritated with someone I know. Actually, I've been thinking this morning, it really should impact how I treat everyone. Even strangers. 
     If you knew this was the last time you were going to see someone you love, wouldn't you love them more and fuss less? Wouldn't you linger a little longer then be in such a rush to get on with the busyness of life? I mean people are why we are here, right? Relationships? God wants a relationship with all of us. So, we are to love too. "Love one another"

John 13:34-35

³⁴ “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Would you be a little more urgent with spreading the Gospel to those you thought didn't have much time?  Would you go out of your way to send notes of encouragement and love? Just pick up the phone and talk for a bit?
     Well, I'm going to think on this a little more. I want to stop and think more before I speak. Before I tell my husband I'm tired and don't want to go for a walk with him right now. Or that I'm too busy to go for the little drive to the gas station with him to keep him company. Before, I fuss at my kids for laughing to loud or being silly, I need to stop and enjoy that moment and let them enjoy it too. 
As for the stranger on the street that cuts me off or yells at me (maybe tells me "I'm #1"), I need to give a minute and some grace. I don't know what that person is going through. I don't know if he/she is experiencing a major loss in their life or they themselves will be gone tomorrow. 
     Many won't like this post. They'll probably tell me it's kinda morbid. It is. But, to all of those people who don't believe in our Christ, I bet we sound pretty morbid. I mean think about it. We worship this man that was beaten to a bloody mess and left to die. His family and friends spent much time thinking about what life was going to be like without him. To them (Jesus' family and friends) life was going to be awful and gut wrenching. But, He was prepared because He knew what was going to be waiting for him when it was all over. Heaven. But, for us people left behind, what of us? Did his mom feel like she told him she loved him enough? Did his brothers belittle his ministry? Remember when his family came to get him and told him to come home? Said he was out of his mind?

 Mark 3:21 says,"When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind."

     Boy, I bet they felt like heels. Especially, after the whole rising from the dead thing. None of us are raising Jesus. But, we are raising his disciples and our spouses are blessings that God has given us to make it through this life as a helper and encourager. That means you are supposed to be an encourager too. Are you? Am I? Well, I can say that I am going to try harder at being more loving and more encouraging. I am going to try to live my life treating my family and friends as if they were not going to be here tomorrow. Like I may never have the chance to love on them or tell them how important  they are to me. I'm going to use this time to lift them up and Help them to have a joyful outlook. 

     God loves all of His children and we are supposed to as well. 

Here are some verses to help us remember what it is God says about this. 

Ephesians 4:2-3 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Philippians 2:2  complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

1 John 3:18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

I need to work on Philippians 2:2- "being of full accord and one mind."
And also Ephesians 4- to have "humility and gentleness, with patience...." Wow that is a doozy.

     So, with that; I will be looking at you all differently. Pardon me if I hold on a little longer when we hug Hello or Good bye. Excuse me for looking at you with an expression as if I am trying to memorize your face. And be understanding if I call you just to talk. 
     And in case you live too far away for me to hug you, know that I love you and am thinking of you often.

What color are your eyes??

       I have brown eyes. Growing up I always felt like I didn't have as pretty of eyes as girls with blue eyes. My best friend had blue eyes. My mom told me she had hoped that when she married a man with blue eyes, her children would have blue eyes. Once in school while talking about discrimination, the teacher had told us about an experiment that another class had done where the brown eyed kids were treated different then the blue. Less important. I'm sure I remember that the class switched the preferred eye color to blue the next day. But, all I remember is that brown eyes must not be as special. I wasn't upset about it. Just hoped that I had a blue eyed child. It must be prettier. Right?
      I did have a blue eyed child. In fact, I had 4 of them. I am the only one in my family with brown eyes (well, the dog did. But, we had to give him away when we moved. So just me). Well, one of those beautiful blue eyed children was a girl. A precious, 4 year old, blue eyed, blond, curly haired darling. She is as beautiful inside as she is out. (O.K. I'm a bit biased). The other day she said to me, "Mommy, I love your chocolate eyes."
     WHAT?! 
     Chocolate?
     I had never heard them called that before?
     Chocolate is wonderful.
     I like chocolate. A LOT!
     A child's perspective is completely amazing and different then ours. I had never thought of my eyes as chocolate color. I love it. Aren't you jealous of my chocolate eyes? You only have blue. So sad for you!! HaHaHa. 
     So there you have it. 
     She sadly told me she wished she had my black straight hair too. Oh no little one. You are a dead ringer for Shirley Temple. You are one spectacular little girl. Love who God made you.
     

The Hair Clip Distaster

             Little girl was on the toilet and starts screaming. I go running in to see what has happened.
She has dropped her hair clip down into the toilet where she has gone,... poop.
"Get it Mommy!! Get it out! Don't flush it!"
"No."
"Mommy, get it!! I want it. I love it! It's my favorite!"
" I am not putting my hand in there with your poop for a hair clip."
Disgusted look and angry darts blazed from her eyes.
"Get Daddy. He'll do it for me. D-A-D-D-Y!!!"

Dad replies, "I'll buy you a new one."
Girlie, "O.K. Daddy."

Really. I get glares and he gets an O.K. Daddy? I guess I was the one that flushed.

Stalker!!

Me: "Please carry the basket of clean clothes upstairs."
14 year old son: "Who will carry it when you get old?"
Me:"You."
Son:"What if I move away? To .....Alabama?"
Me: "I will move with you. Follow you"
Son: "That's called a Stalker."
Me: "That's called a Mom."

Things I Never Thought I would Hear or Say.

A day to remember.....

          


There are so many things on a daily basis that one of my kids will say and I will think, "did he/she really say that?"

            Couple from today:
I went to buy a new bra and I took my girlie (3) with me. I went to Nordstrom's because it has been so long since I went to buy a nice one that I was a bit overwhelmed by the choices.
I was in the dressing room trying on a bra as the sales lady left to get a couple more choices for me.
Girlie says (in her loudest voice), "Mommy, is this the BIG BOOBY STORE!"
giggles... from the other dressing rooms.....


            The next one was this morning. (Yes, I live an exciting life with these kids).
My youngest son and my girlie are in the tub while I am putting on my make-up. I had washed my hair last night and slept on it. So I wanted to wet it so I could style it. I thought, "Oh there is a tub with nice hot water. "
So, I leaned over the tub and used a cup to start wetting my hair. About half-way through, girlie says with a giggle, "Mommy, I peed in here."
FREEZE.
O.K.  So, there is a couple of the things I never thought I would hear. I will add as time goes on and the things I never thought I would have to say as well.

Rainbows And Cupcakes

Girlie is carrying around a teacup, telling us it is full of rainbows.
Little boyo grabs her cup and makes a big slurp noise.
"He stole my rainbow!" comes the umbelievimg girlie.
I am unflustered. Without skipping a beat, I say,"Spit it out." holding the cup to his lips.
He pretends to spit it out.
Girlie screams, "Now it's all wet!"
Of course.
Why didn't I think of that?
Little boyo doesn't want to be out done. Says back very authoritative, "I can only burp cupcakes. "

And that was my day.

Bats and MUMMA'S

           We don't celebrate Halloween in our house. We gave it up a long time ago. In fact, I don't know if my oldest even remembers doing it at all. My youngest have never done it.
            We were in the car and the boys were talking about it when Little Girlie pipes up, "We don't do any of that."
             "Any of what?" The boys ask her.
            "You know. Bats or Mumma's."
            " Mumma's?" I ask. "What is a Mumma?"
            "The one wrapped  in toilet paper."
           Oh. Of course.  A Mumma. Didn't you know that?

Frozen Yogurt

            I'm not a huge fan of frozen yogurt. I mean, really what is the benefit that is so great that out weighs ice cream? I LIKE ice cream. I really like ice cream. Why yogurt? It's like being on a diet and trying to pretend that you aren't. Like eating carob instead of milk chocolate. Really? Then we go and there isn't even chocolate mint. To me that is the only flavor even worth eating yogurt. So I get "Just Chocolate". That is really the name of it. Like, (in a dejected exhaling moan) "I guess I'll get Just Chocolate...." Yea! nothing says yum like Just Chocolate.
           So here I am eating frozen yogurt and it is getting cold outside. Yes, there were no seats inside. And I started telling my 2nd that he shouldn't steal his sisters mini chocolate chips. "Besides," I say,"they look like little mouse poops."
            Husband says, " Hey Heth, there is one right there."
             One what, I'm thinking.
           "You better look down. It's right there. "
            "Yea, right. " I know I can be gullible and I just said mouse but, really? I'm not fall!!!!.... AAAAAHHHHH!!! THERE IS A MOUSE UNDER MY CHAIR! SERIOUSLY! UNDER MY CHAIR!!! 
            Both legs pull up. OH NO! I don't do mice! Rodents are disgusting. OOOOO! It is nasty. Well, I realize I am pulling a famously wonderful mom moment. Again, because both of the "Littles" are shaking, have big eyes and are squealing in unison. I wait until the creepy little thing is not where I can see it anymore. Pick up my Frozen Yogurt (That stuff wasn't good or my idea. And a super gross waste of time) and toss the rest in the trash. I declare I'm cold and leaving. The Littles follow suit. Little Girlie licking a bit more of the Pink yogurt she is eating (with the mouse poop chips on it) and tosses the rest without question (this was Girlie. The one that questions everything). And jumps in the car saying,"And carry azezes (in english that is diseases)."
            O.K. I have scarred my children for life. Although the Bigs have faired quite well over the years with my mouse/rodent phobia. You know the usually giggles and peels of laughter as I walk by the little hairy monsters and shiver at the pet store. That kind of thing.
           The worst part? My brother was reminding me on the phone how Jaws had scared me when I was a kid so I wouldn't go in the ocean for half the summer. Him, he thought the movie was cheesy. He just knew King Kong was way worse anyway. My boys, having heard this conversation start saying, "I think we should call the mouse Jaws. Did you see jaws under the table mom? Ha ha ha ha!"
          The other one is a bit quicker in saying, "Not Jaws. NIBBLES!! Nibbles the Ferocious! Ha ha ha ha!"
           Great, now I'll be haunted by my children and Nibbles the killer baby mouse (Oh did I leave out the part where I was supposed to say it was a baby mouse. SO CREEPY!!). And no it isn't cute!!

I was going to put a picture of a
baby mouse but, I couldn't bring myself
to do it!! 

What Is Your Ministry?!

      



  

             I am a homeschool mom. I do not work for money outside of my home. I am home often. (Not always). And I am raising 4 children and teaching them what they need to know. I am also a wife. Our family is pretty traditional for the most part. He goes out and works all day and I am home teaching the kids and trying to manage the home in between. The house isn't always as managed as it should be. (When did I change the sheets last?) I also volunteer at our church for Kids Small Group once a week. Which is a bible study for each of the kids by age. This year I will be teaching one hour a week at our new co-op and volunteering 2 more hours there a week. Now I am on the board for our homeschool group. (That has been like a full time job the last 2 months.) No I'm not super mom or overly energetic. I really have a hard time getting through the day without a glass of sweet tea and a couple squares of chocolate around 4 p.m. I get cranky and frustrated. I get tired and worn out feeling. I'm a mom. Just like you.
             I want to share with you something I learned recently. I was feeling kind of... unimportant in the scheme of Gods' workers. I felt like my contributions to the world wasn't a whole lot.  I mean, there are days that I don't leave my house or carry on a conversation with someone that wouldn't think twice about wiping their nose on me mid-sentence. Because of schooling at home, I don't even have the mad dash of waving at other moms in the parking lot dropping or picking up some days. I spend my days singing the ABC's, checking spelling words, reading history, checking over math problems, coloring, cutting pasting, correcting term papers (my oldest has a couple of classes outside of our home), cooking, laundry, cleaning up, sweeping, planning, organizing, reorganizing, refereeing, screaming, laughing, crying, maintaining. You get the picture. Then you get a call from a friend saying they are going on a mission trip to dig wells in Africa, and another friend goes to Malaysia to share hygiene information, and then at church they are pitching for our kids to go on the mission trip to Mexico to build an orphanage. Oh yea, then there is my cousin that went to live in Nicaragua for 2 years to help at an orphanage and school. To teach about Jesus.
             Funny. I love my life. This one that God has blessed me with. Even all of the ups and downs. I am saddened by the people not blessed in the same way I am. So now I start feeling insignificant. Tiny. Unimportant.  Why aren't I going to Africa, or somewhere... I am not very worthy....  so I have spent many days on this thought and prayed fervently. Well, that is where the board position came in. Thanks God. I didn't say I didn't have anything to do. That I needed to fill my days. They are full. Why would you give me more things to do with so little time to do the things that I am responsible for now?
             That is when I heard it. Several times actually. It seems to be a theme. Several people have said the phrase to me, I have heard it in a song a couple of times, even the sermon had the phrase in it a few weeks ago.
"You have been put here for such a time as this." That is the phrase. Am I the only one that gets kinda weirded out by telling people what they hear God telling you? (Yes, I know weirded isn't a real word, word Nazi's). It's true. I have heard it over and over for the last 3 weeks. Well, if you know your bible, you know that phrase comes from Esther 4:14. The second part of the verse reads, "... And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"
               Wow. I have always loved the book of Esther because it's the book in the Bible that God himself isn't speaking or have a Prophet speaking for him. Esther and her family have to listen for God like we do. Maybe less. Esther is during the time when God was silent. Esther didn't see a burning bush. I don't know about you but, I always found it a bit unfair that Moses sees and hears a burning bush and I have to only rely on prayer and reading my Bible.  Well, I don't think God is silent now. We just aren't listening. I'm listening now.
                 I have come to realize in my many quiet times, that I am very significant. My contribution is really important. Before I was leading my homeschool group I was/am raising 4 disciples and christian soldiers to go out into the world to spread the gospel. To change the world. I have always known that I have been blessed with wonderful children. I have always known that they aren't mine
               Since my prayers for insignificance, God (as usual) is laughing at me. But, he is also cheering me on. As he cheers you on everyday. Ladies, being a wife and mother is an important ministry (at least it can be). Homeschooling your children is a huge ministry. So many just don't get why you do what you do. You do it because you have been called. Let's face it, many of us would love to drop our kids for several hours a day and be able to clean our house, work out, meet for lunch or coffee, grocery shop without sticky fingers grabbing everything on the shelf and distracting you from your list.
                 We have chosen the road less traveled. When neighbors and strangers look at us, they look with much more scrutinizing eyes. We could never exclaim to most of our neighbors or family for that matter, that we had a rotten day and didn't get any school work done today. Their answer would be, "Put them in school already." It's like complaining to someone that doesn't believe in breast feeding that your nipples are chapped. "Use a bottle."
                 I now realize that my job to minister isn't just to my family and neither is yours. My ministry is you. The other moms and especially other homeschool moms. Your ministry is me. Ladies, we are sisters in Christ. That makes us bonded to each other. We are the leaders preparing all of our children to go out and dig wells, teach orphans, help the poor, salvage a town after a disaster, all of the things we are commanded to do. You are not doing a tiny unimportant job. You are doing a huge job. You are raising up disciples. I know I have said it a few times. It is true.
                  Now have I scared you a little with the huge sense of responsibility that you have? Good. Now is the good part. You aren't alone. Not only do you have me; but best of all, you have God.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in his mighty power." Ephesians 6:10
                 NOW, GIVE ME 50!!!  Hugs, words of encouragement, cups of shared coffee (or glasses of tea), trips to the park to encourage and build me up, of Mom's Night Out- to love and laugh with each other. Give me the love and support I need and I promise to be there for you as well. We can do this. You are important. And who knows, maybe one day you will lead a mission trip to the deepest part of the Amazon or to the top of a freezing mountain. What is your ministry now? What are you supposed to do to further God now? 

Mother Knows Best?

            I read an article that cut me right to the quick.  This mom wrote; The Opposite of a 'Tiger Mother": leaving your children behind. I was shocked that this woman wrote this and expected people to agree with her. Thought that there was many women that she was freeing from the bonds of motherhood. Well, maybe she will strike a cord with some women. But, how terribly sad for those children. I know she says that the kids are happy and like the arrangement but, what else could they say? First, children are adaptable. We have heard tale of children growing and even thriving in conditions that were unbearable to most of us. God made them rubbery. Bounce-able. She is sighting that men have done it for generations and, no one thinks any less of them. I disagree. Whether you are a mom or dad, that is the child that God blessed you with. There are many couples miserably suffering without children. They aren't just your responsibility, they should be your delight to care and love them.

            No, a man that choses to move 3,000 miles away from his children and not want any custody of them is despicable. Just like her. Children are not expendable. They need parents to love and guide them. Is this the Ultimate Me time or what?! That is how this starts you know. First, you buy into the, "I need ME TIME. So I can be a good parent. " The next progression is Vacations away (Yes, this really is encouraged in many parenting magazines today). To finally, society accepting this. A mother's abandonment of her children. I am appaled that this woman carried these children in her womb, supposedly was an attachment parent, and even a family bed mom. Then she leaves? How does that happen? Did anyone check her mental stability? Really, it sounds like the marital issues got the best of her. She feels slighted because her husbands job takes him away for days at a time and she is feeling abandoned by him. "It isn't fair if my husband doesn't take his turn caring for the kids." Have you heard that? How about, "take turns with getting up in the night to feed your baby. Even if you breast feed, he can go get the baby for you." These comments breed discontent. Life isn't fair. Remember hearing that in school? Marriage isn't a series of checks and balances. 

          "You take this trash out now and I will take it next time."

          What happens if he is paying the bills right then and you have to do it again? Are you going to get mad because, after all, it is his turn. This is where we get into trouble. Trying to make everything "fair" and "even". Is that love? Or is it marriage? Raising a family with someone else is caring for each other. You have strengths. So does your spouse. Use them. Maybe instead of each of you taking a turn going out with your friends for awhile, you could hang out together, or go for a walk somewhere together. 

  

            Your children will not always be little. There will be a day when they are all gone and you will have plenty of ME TIME. Yes, there are always days where we moms feel overloaded, and depleted. This will pass. You need to pray and ask God to fill you with HIM. That is why starting your day with prayer, meditation and His word is the best way to fight off these tiring days. Someday there will be no more diapers. Someday there will be no one waking you with a bad dream. God wants you to love these little ones. Everyday. Not when it is convenient. 

           One more perspective story and I will step away from this sad story. There is a very good Christian singer, Jana Alayra. She missed a red light on her way to church one day with her kids in the car. She was hit by another car and the car spun around. One of her beautiful little girls didn't make it. Here she was a busy mom like the rest of us. Busy, and probably running a little behind, like the rest of us. And in an instant her life was forever missing one of it's heartstings.  I know this is a harsh story and sad. But, please stop and think for a minute that every minute you have with your child or spouse could be the last moment you have with them. Do you really want it to be yelling at them? Or telling them all how you are not getting your fair share of time to yourself? Stop and think about what is important.

            I know you are tired and yet you have no time to sleep. You can get through this rough patch. You will become a better person because of it and in the mean time are you motivating your child to reach higher than you did. Are you letting your spouse know that you are so blessed to be married to someone that loves you so much?  God has put you with the right child for you. Even though you might not see eye to eye. That is why God made two parents for your child. You can bounce off of each other. In the mean time, love each other. Spend time with each other. Find joy in each other.     

           

             Proverbs 6:20

 My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  

I wonder ladies, how can a child keep to his mother's teaching if his mother has abandoned him.

Gratefulness. My List of 1,000 Things to Be Grateful For. (Ongoing)

        


                                                       Blessings come in all kinds of packages!!


             So, I have heard so many sermons on being thankful. I've read blogs on being truly grateful. Goodness, one of my favorite songs to sing to the kids is "Count Your Blessings". I really only sing the chorus to it when they are falling asleep ( one of the songs they like).
            It all makes me wonder, am I truly thankful for what I have. Do I consistently yearn for more? What am I modeling for my kids? Are they content and grateful? Well, we really had a test recently about being grateful for things, money, etc. And a few times we have been tested by how grateful we were for health as well as the little things. We know that God has blessed us with everything that we have. Every breath we breathe, every heartbeat, every second of everyday, God has blessed us with. I have seen photos of people in Rwanda and other 3rd world places that people walk for miles to get water. That isn't our life. If we have to drive 6 miles to a grocery, to choose what we feel like eating this week, we get frustrated. My husband and I have an ongoing debate as to which Trader Joe's to go to. The one that is 1.5 miles or the one with the nicer employees, and better parking that is 2.5 miles (can you tell which side I am on?). This is a luxury problem. Not even a problem. Why do I forget or overlook that it is a blessing to disagree on which Trader Joe's to go to. Some people don't have a grocery or the ability to choose what they eat even. I don't need to preach to you. I am just putting my own heart in the right place.
            With that said, I know many people; celebrities, teachers, preachers, friends, even family, have encouraged us all to write down what we are grateful for, or maybe what makes us happy. I have a friend that for the month of February, wrote everyday on what she loved. So, I have really thought about this and have decided that I, as well as my kids, (we'll see if hubby wants to do it) will be making a list. (I know I love lists). The list will be 1,000 things that we are grateful for, thankful for and count as a blessing. Big things, little things, anything.
            I will keep a running list here of mine and share some of the kids blessings they write down as they come along. I'm sure they will come up with some great ones.
I will add to it as time goes one. I am wondering how long it will take me to get to 1,000.


             My Blessing List!

1. Clean Water
2. Clean air to breath (used to live in Corona! Stinky and smoggy).
3. toothbrushes and toothpaste
4. my incredible husband
5. my wonderful children (I never dreamed of having 4!)
6. a warm house to live in
7. a car that is paid for
8. my ocean view
9. being saved
10. our church
11. dear friends 
12. a full pantry and refrigerator
13. a great natural Doctor
14. Dr. Bob
15. the beach
16. internet
17. chocolate (I would put sweet tea but, I am fasting from it right now. I'll save that one).
18. my car that is big enough to put everyone and still have room for groceries
19. Trader Joe's
20. Heat (it's cold today. Ha ha! 55.)
21. home-schooling
22. pounds dropping (albeit slowly) from the scale
23. My grandmother is still alive and my kids have been to her place. (wish we could go more)
24. That I can pick up the phone and talk to my mom 
25. Showers
26. swimming pools
27. books
28. The Bible
29. Prayer
30. Learning a lesson quickly rather then banging my head too many times first.

Well, here are the first 30. It may take me a good long while but, I really think that this is a fantastic exercise for each of us. I am hoping to do some everyday but, we'll see if that happens.

My Giving Jar Project

You are probably wondering why I have a calendar on my blog. Two in fact. well, I decided to make a giving jar. It is a way for my kids and the ones in our bible study class, to learn about blessings and giving. Really about serving others. Since we are called to serve others. To love others. This is another way to do that.
                    If you look at each day there is a task to do. All of the tasks involve giving a small amount of coins. Each one will give you the opportunity to talk about others that might night have all that we do. Our children aren't so much spoiled as they are unknowing. How can they be truly spoiled when they know nothing else? No other way than how we live. The other day another child on our street saw that we had a T.V. in our car. He was blown away. It struck me as so odd because all of the people we know have T.V.s in their car. In fact I know children that have never been in a car without one. Yet this child had never seen one. My kids were shocked at his reaction. How shocked would they be to meet a child that doesn't own shoes? This isn't a lesson in guilt but, in gratitude and serving. Is loving and caring for others.
                    We will go through each day and fill up the jar according to each task. Then at the end of the project on December 14th ( that is the last day of our bible study class until our break), we will donate our gift to the churches food pantry. Since it will be the Christmas season, there will be an even greater need there. Now these small children, 10 year olds will be able to say that they were able to help feed someone with just a few coins. I hope you enjoy my calendar and decide to use it with your kids. Enjoy.