When Husbands Aren't Funny.... O.K. It Was Funny.

            I love my husband, he is a funny man. He lightens most situations and can make me laugh often. Really, it is one of the biggest reasons I married him. However, as you know when you are with someone funny, there are times you don't see the humor... until later.  Today is one of those days.
           After church today we were going to take care of two things I really enjoy. Going to Target (THE Happiest place on earth) and buy the substance that makes my "liquid gold", Loose Leaf Lipton Tea. I informed my dear husband that we had to drive an extra 10 minutes to the great big Target. He wasn't too excited but, it is the only place that I can find my beloved Lipton loose leaf tea. No one else here seems to carry it.

            When we got there we split up kids. He takes the boys and I take Girlie. I have the list, he browses. The store is remodeling and when I get to the grocery section to find the tea.... There was no loose leaf tea box. Not even a space on the shelf for it to go. I am very anxious. I am seriously irritated and frustrated. I made my dear husband drive further to go to this Target because of the tea. I set off to find the rest of the items on my list. This is where funny husband starts to make me grouchy. Yes, I see the humor now but, at the time it was like a gnat buzzing in your ear.
              He starts to text me on my phone. (This Target is so big that we have been known to loose each other in here before. So we always bring our phones). Here are the texts as they came in. I was looking to fill my list mind you and I had girlie who was getting very grabby of things on the shelves.

Him text: Where r u

Him: Where r u

Him: Where r u
(I wasn't ignoring him. My phone was on quiet still from church).

Him: Help Me! Target is draining the life blood from my soul. The lights are making me have hallucinations.
(this is a lie in case you are worried).

Him: Call the national guard! Send reinforcements- I went to my mega church and now am lost in Satan's lair---mega Target... It is full of sin and lies of the world.

Me: What kind of razor blades do u want?

Him: I need to engage my GPS on my phone to find a way out of this place!

Him: Oh my Lord! I can c the sun! I am going towards the light of day! Run Kids! Follow me to the light!

Me: What kind of blades do you want?

Him: Help! Read prior text!

Me: Come around to Health and Beauty. Please!

Him: Set off yellow smoke bomb to mark location!

Him: Set off yellow smoke bomb to mark location!

Him: Set off yellow smoke bomb to mark location!!

Him: My heart is racing as we approach the check out. I can already smell plastic of my debit card melting as we pass it thru the  "Finemaster's" machine!
( I asked what is the Finemaster? he said it is the cashier. He makes us pay a Fine for all of the sin we bought. ???)

Him: Help us oh God as we try to find comfort in the material things of this world. We know that happiness cannot be found at Target!
(I beg to differ  on that one. I buy loose leaf tea there. At least I have in the past!)

Him: (this gets adolescent now sorry) I think the check out guy is looking @ your boobs! I'm gonna smack him right in the nose. Punky Target Guy!

Then we sent my oldest back to get a new can of tomato sauce because the one I had was dented. And I also threw a package of paper towels at to my husband (to make him stop texting) to put in his cart.

Him: Tomato paste!?  Incoming- Duck! Paper towels! Help me Yaway!
Then I sent him out to the car with the cart because Girlie started yelling she had to pee. (really it was BIG potty which is delightful in public restrooms.

Him: Thank God we made it back outside alive!

Him: Love U!

O.K. yes, I see the humor now but, all I could think at the time is where am I going to go and find my tea. And, why doesn't he stop playing with his phone and come get his blades??

            So, living with a funny husband and a jovial guy is great most of the time. But, no I don't always see the humor until later when I can look at it from afar.
Kind of funny when I got to the car with Girlie, I asked him what the deal was with his texting today. He said he didn't know. Maybe I could blog it later. (He was being funny.)

          Sad thing that happened later. Son number 2 asked if he could have a sip of my tea while I was doing dishes. I said, "No. Please leave it alone. I want to drink it when I'm done with everything." I turned around the last of my tea in my glass ( I think I can make 2 more pitchers with what I have left), was gone. My husband drank it. He said he didn't think I would drink it. I was a little peeved. All evening.. O.K. until I sat down and read all of the texts. I give in, it was a funny yet sad ending to my not finding my tea.

This is my favorite cup to drink my tea in.