Art of Being Joyful

                                                    5 Thimbles by Paula Grizzell DeMarini

          I read a great book. I am not a book reviewer by nature. I do love to read but, with life the way it is in our household right now, I don't have much opportunity to read for pleasure. I am usually studying about what or how to teach a particular subject to my kids. Or I am researching a topic for someone (usually myself, my husband or helping one of the kids).  Then of course there is the time I should be reading my bible. Well, I an aunt of mine posted on Face Book about a book that one of her cousins wrote about her childhood. She said it was good. I was intrigued. She is family and she is writing about my family-some I know -some I don't. I would love to know more about. I was really thinking it was going to be more about family history. A little geneology. I even e-mailed my aunt to ask her about the book. She said it was interesting to her because she knew everyone and it was what was going on when she was growing up. But, maybe not so interesting to me, or someone that didn't know everyone one.  

         Well,..... Sorry Aunt Feda to say you were not right. I loved the book. My husband really loved hearing the stories. He even said he wanted to read it when I was done and he doesn't really read those kind of books. Yes, there were people I knew the names (my mom was mentioned once) but, the story and the heroism in the book brought such intense emotions. I was struck by the theme of gratitude in the book. The joyful way she wrote about such difficult events and topics that was her life. Her life was anything but, rich and happy in the way you and I look at it. The mother in this story encouraged me to be a better mom. One that doesn't complain so much. One that doesn't get discouraged by such trivial things. This mom didn't know the meaning of ME time. She devoted her whole life to the care of her children. This isn't a sappy, sacrifice yourself for all of those around you to be a great person. It is a sacrifice yourself for the furthering of others and yourself will be furthered in the end. 

"But, many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then." Matthew 19:30 NLT

(For my purest family. "But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first." KJV)

             This book is a MUST read for those of us struggling with what it is God is doing in our life and why he isn't trusting us with so much more. Beware if you buy the book and don't tell me, you may be getting one for Christmas. I liked it that much. And beware of the effect in your daily life it may have on you. You may suddenly look at your life and those around you much differently. As well as, you may suddenly want to do some mission work. Local or far away. There are many here that really need help. Food, blankets, sweaters, water, a bible, etc. What would have been different for the family in the book if more had participated in their well being? How many DID participate in the help and care of them? This is actually how a village helps to raise a child. 

             Please take the time to read this inexpensive little paperback book and let me know how it effected you. And First cousin once removed Paula Grizzell DeMarini, what a fantastic perspective you have. Your willingness to right kindly about unkind things and people was amazing. You have a gift for saying things in a joyful manner. I hope I can learn and be so kind.

What Brings Joy in Your Day?!

          

           First, this could get a little PG rated so, if you're not married or under age maybe you might want to wait to read my next post. Sorry, had to add the disclaimer. 
             So, I was thinking about my days. How there seems to be chaos, and busyness all day long. Well, really often even into the night. My daily responsibilities are quite numerous. To name just a few on a regular, mellow day (of which there is never one of those). 

1. Getting everyone up on time
2. prodding on the dressing and chore time
3. bathing and dressing not only myself, but the 2 "littles"
4. making beds
5. cleaning up
6. breakfast
7. DISHES
8. clean-up anything else in the way for lessons
9. lessons
10. refereeing squabbles
11. encouraging
12. laundry
13. planning meals
14. grocery shopping
15. vacuuming 
16. potty patrol (2 year old still needs to be reminded to go)
17. sweeping
18. fielding any phone calls
19. calendar juggling
20. taxi driver to get to appointments and classes on time
21. time keeper
22. floors to wash
23. bathrooms to clean (showers, etc)
24. wiping noses, faces, and anything else that needs to be wiped
25. Lunch
26. DISHES
27. prepare dinner
28. get everyone ready to come in and eat
29. encourage them all to eat said HEALTHY meal
30. DISHES
31. cleanup 
32. bathes
33. p.j.s
34. stories
35. potty monitor
36. booty wiper
37. bedtime tyrant
38. Vitamin giver and watcher that they take them.
39. meanie that makes all stay in bed!

             I really could go on and on. Let me tell you, there is so much left out. Not to mention the surprises that I am always blessed with everyday. I will enlighten you a little on a few examples of those little interruptions blessings I get through the day. 

1. Potty training. That we poop in the potty. Not the floor.
2. bumped heads, arms, noses, legs, toes, and more
3. band aids!
4. unexpected visitors
5. dawdling
6. disagreements
7. leaking garbage disposals
8. weird smells
9. spilled food, drinks, soap, ice, toys, etc. on the floor to clean
10. markers (do I need to say anymore) 
11. toilet paper rolls-totally unrolled
12. tu-tu's getting caught
13. fingers stuck in various holes
14. odd objects in noses
15. things missing that were possibly swallowed. Or not

             I think you get the idea. I don't live a quiet and serene life. When I quit work while pregnant with my first son, my boss said she would keep my job available for awhile for when I got bored and wanted to come back..
UMMM.... REALLY?!
It's been almost 14 years since he was born (WOW I didn't realize I had one that old!!) and I don't think I have had a moment of boredom since then. NOPE. No boring days. I can truly say that. And really mean it. 


            Now, back to the title of this post. What brings joy into your crazy, busy days? What things give you that stranded on a beautiful white beach in the middle of nowhere with all of the comforts you couldn't live without, moment?
I truly thought about this as I hear new moms and new brides that look at my busy life of a husband, and 4 kids and homeschooling and they say, "No WAY! How do you do it? How do you not loose yourself? How do you find "ME" time? How does your husband still know you love him? How do you still know he loves you?!!" (First, we all know I have issues with ME time. So, we'll leave that one alone. )
                 So, here is my top list of what gives me my joy.

1. SWEET TEA (you knew that was coming. RIGHT?)
2. chocolate
3. a cold day, with homemade soup on the stove. And a glimpse of my children all getting along. For a moment.
4. T.V. time in the evening with my husband (that is our dates)
5. Early bedtimes for the kids
6. NOONERS!
7. talking on the phone with my childhood friend while we both clean up the kitchen in our homes
8. Laughter
9. reading the Bible first thing in the morning out loud with my husband before anyone else gets up.
10. playing games with my family
11. Oh and did I mention a little AFTERNOON DELIGHT
12. OOPS and Sweet tea

          I wonder if you notice a few patterns. First, I do a lot of dishes and cook tons...
Also, I love sweet tea (no surprise) and I love my husband. Those moments that I listed in the last list, are what brings my day joy. When I realize that I'm not feeling too joyful and I'm more grouchy then pleasant, I need to find one of those things on my brings joy list to do. It means I have gotten sucked into the "have to's" and the the vortex of busyness.
Yes ladies, I know we are busy and tired and stretched to our limit. It seems so much easier and less trouble to reach for the chocolate, a latte, or a sweet tea but, if we are truly looking for refreshing moment, actually a little flustering moment, take a moment with your Honey. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to delight in your latte. It does say to delight in each other.  Proverbs 5:18 says- May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
         Yea, it really says that. So, in case you have forgotten, You used to delight in him often. Before kids. Before dishes. Before poop on the floor. Remember how you would get so excited about seeing him before you were married? Now when he walks in the door, do you stop. Do you even acknowledge that he is home? Do you go out of your way to do the special little things he likes? Get him that special treat from the store? He is the one that used to bring you joy in the middle of your day. Is he still?


         Also, if you haven't read Song of Solomon (some Bibles call it Song of Songs) lately, go for it. Actually, try reading it out loud to your husband. You might be surprised what is in there. Now that you are an adult and are able to really experience all that he says in the book. Go for it. Have a little joy in the afternoon. 

Listening When HE Talks.

          

To Listen Wholeheartedly. 

            Well, here I am again, in the middle of the night. Feeling unsettled. What is it? Why the unsettled feeling in my soul tonight? Actually, I have felt it all day. Our pastor has been talking on God talking to you and how we need to be ready and quiet and listening. It's imperative to have a dedicated prayer life and to read daily. However, he says he has talked to people that have said to him that God told them something. He says he is always amazed that they are still standing. He says that if God talked to him, he doesn't think you could even answer from the overwhelming power, awe, etc. of God himself. I suppose you could site the story of God having to put his hand over the crevice where Moses was so that He could pass by. And that the glory of God shown on Moses face when he spent time on the mount to receive the tablets. Exodus 34:29-30 ²⁹ When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD. ³⁰ When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him.
In Exodus 3:6 Then he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.
              I can see how someone might say that to HEAR God would be almost (maybe) horrifying. I am struggling with this. The reason? I have heard God. I know, I have now had several of you roll your eyes and maybe even turn off this page. But, it is true. When my second son was so very sick and in the NICU for so long, I was up for many hours. I lived on very little sleep. I figured out once that I was living on 4 hours, accumulated sleep. I would catch time here and there when I could. One reason was because not all of the medical staff liked me being at my child's bedside at all hours of the day and night. I suppose, I was infringing on their turf. Not all of the nurses were that way though. Many said they would do the same. During this time, I was closer to God than I had ever been. I prayed a steady stream. I understand the passage in the Bible that says to pray without ceasing. I also read my bible a lot. I was seeking his guidance and comfort. 
            Well, one night I thought that I could slip off to bed for a few winks of sleep. My little darling was fed and sleeping. No meds scheduled for a few hours. I had a nurse that I thought was going to be on my side. Well, I had no sooner laid my head down and I heard, very clearly, "Get up! He needs you now!" I even was already on my feet. I didn't realize that there was no one in the room to say the words I heard until I hit the NICU door. Where I found the nurses all around my son's nurse as she was feeding him a bottle. (This was something that was against what I had researched. What he was wrong with my son would be helped much more with breast milk. And he had actually had a problem with the formula in the first week. ) When I walked through the door, she went pale and shook her head ( the other nurses spread out and I heard a lot of murmuring about me always being there, and I always seem to know. ) and asked, "How did you know?"
              I answered, "He told me." At the time it didn't seem strange. I just took it for granted the God had told me and it was normal. Even though I realized later that it really isn't a normal everyday occurrence. 
            Am I crazy? I didn't die. I didn't fall down in fear? Does that make me irreverent? Some would say that the sleep deprivation made me a little crazy. Maybe. But, I remember that moment in that 4 months so much more clearly then anything else. There other moments like that where I felt God's presence but, only that time when I heard him. 
           Well, as I struggle with the before mentioned sermon that was taught in church and think maybe I am crazy, I read this morning in my Bible: Acts 9:10

¹⁰ In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”
   “Yes, Lord,” he answered.

                 Ananias didn't die either. He just answered. There are several examples just like this. 

What about Samuel? He was still a child when it happened to him. 

I Samuel 3:10- ¹⁰ The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”
   Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”


           Of all of the stories where God speaks or calls someone, Samuel's story is my favorite in that he is an innocent child and he doesn't even know it is God calling him. Also, it says that the Lord came and stood there. Samuel was still able to speak. 
             So with that said I think it safe to say, that God does speak on rare occasions. I am not saying that you sit and have a daily conversation in the way you and I could sit and talk. I think that when He wants to talk, He does. I just pray that if He ever talks to me again, I am listening. I am not from the camp of, "God CAN move mountains, He just chooses NOT to." I don't believe that for one minute. I believe He moves mountains everyday. We just are in a world that never stands still long enough to notice. He says, in Psalm 46:10-

¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”

           
               I know that my God talks and probably even sings. I know that he is here and everywhere. I know that He loves me and is concerned with the things that concern me. After reading that passage above about Samuel again, I know sometimes, he even stands near us. With that I hope that I can always say, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

Mother Knows Best?

            I read an article that cut me right to the quick.  This mom wrote; The Opposite of a 'Tiger Mother": leaving your children behind. I was shocked that this woman wrote this and expected people to agree with her. Thought that there was many women that she was freeing from the bonds of motherhood. Well, maybe she will strike a cord with some women. But, how terribly sad for those children. I know she says that the kids are happy and like the arrangement but, what else could they say? First, children are adaptable. We have heard tale of children growing and even thriving in conditions that were unbearable to most of us. God made them rubbery. Bounce-able. She is sighting that men have done it for generations and, no one thinks any less of them. I disagree. Whether you are a mom or dad, that is the child that God blessed you with. There are many couples miserably suffering without children. They aren't just your responsibility, they should be your delight to care and love them.

            No, a man that choses to move 3,000 miles away from his children and not want any custody of them is despicable. Just like her. Children are not expendable. They need parents to love and guide them. Is this the Ultimate Me time or what?! That is how this starts you know. First, you buy into the, "I need ME TIME. So I can be a good parent. " The next progression is Vacations away (Yes, this really is encouraged in many parenting magazines today). To finally, society accepting this. A mother's abandonment of her children. I am appaled that this woman carried these children in her womb, supposedly was an attachment parent, and even a family bed mom. Then she leaves? How does that happen? Did anyone check her mental stability? Really, it sounds like the marital issues got the best of her. She feels slighted because her husbands job takes him away for days at a time and she is feeling abandoned by him. "It isn't fair if my husband doesn't take his turn caring for the kids." Have you heard that? How about, "take turns with getting up in the night to feed your baby. Even if you breast feed, he can go get the baby for you." These comments breed discontent. Life isn't fair. Remember hearing that in school? Marriage isn't a series of checks and balances. 

          "You take this trash out now and I will take it next time."

          What happens if he is paying the bills right then and you have to do it again? Are you going to get mad because, after all, it is his turn. This is where we get into trouble. Trying to make everything "fair" and "even". Is that love? Or is it marriage? Raising a family with someone else is caring for each other. You have strengths. So does your spouse. Use them. Maybe instead of each of you taking a turn going out with your friends for awhile, you could hang out together, or go for a walk somewhere together. 

  

            Your children will not always be little. There will be a day when they are all gone and you will have plenty of ME TIME. Yes, there are always days where we moms feel overloaded, and depleted. This will pass. You need to pray and ask God to fill you with HIM. That is why starting your day with prayer, meditation and His word is the best way to fight off these tiring days. Someday there will be no more diapers. Someday there will be no one waking you with a bad dream. God wants you to love these little ones. Everyday. Not when it is convenient. 

           One more perspective story and I will step away from this sad story. There is a very good Christian singer, Jana Alayra. She missed a red light on her way to church one day with her kids in the car. She was hit by another car and the car spun around. One of her beautiful little girls didn't make it. Here she was a busy mom like the rest of us. Busy, and probably running a little behind, like the rest of us. And in an instant her life was forever missing one of it's heartstings.  I know this is a harsh story and sad. But, please stop and think for a minute that every minute you have with your child or spouse could be the last moment you have with them. Do you really want it to be yelling at them? Or telling them all how you are not getting your fair share of time to yourself? Stop and think about what is important.

            I know you are tired and yet you have no time to sleep. You can get through this rough patch. You will become a better person because of it and in the mean time are you motivating your child to reach higher than you did. Are you letting your spouse know that you are so blessed to be married to someone that loves you so much?  God has put you with the right child for you. Even though you might not see eye to eye. That is why God made two parents for your child. You can bounce off of each other. In the mean time, love each other. Spend time with each other. Find joy in each other.     

           

             Proverbs 6:20

 My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  

I wonder ladies, how can a child keep to his mother's teaching if his mother has abandoned him.

Gratefulness. My List of 1,000 Things to Be Grateful For. (Ongoing)

        


                                                       Blessings come in all kinds of packages!!


             So, I have heard so many sermons on being thankful. I've read blogs on being truly grateful. Goodness, one of my favorite songs to sing to the kids is "Count Your Blessings". I really only sing the chorus to it when they are falling asleep ( one of the songs they like).
            It all makes me wonder, am I truly thankful for what I have. Do I consistently yearn for more? What am I modeling for my kids? Are they content and grateful? Well, we really had a test recently about being grateful for things, money, etc. And a few times we have been tested by how grateful we were for health as well as the little things. We know that God has blessed us with everything that we have. Every breath we breathe, every heartbeat, every second of everyday, God has blessed us with. I have seen photos of people in Rwanda and other 3rd world places that people walk for miles to get water. That isn't our life. If we have to drive 6 miles to a grocery, to choose what we feel like eating this week, we get frustrated. My husband and I have an ongoing debate as to which Trader Joe's to go to. The one that is 1.5 miles or the one with the nicer employees, and better parking that is 2.5 miles (can you tell which side I am on?). This is a luxury problem. Not even a problem. Why do I forget or overlook that it is a blessing to disagree on which Trader Joe's to go to. Some people don't have a grocery or the ability to choose what they eat even. I don't need to preach to you. I am just putting my own heart in the right place.
            With that said, I know many people; celebrities, teachers, preachers, friends, even family, have encouraged us all to write down what we are grateful for, or maybe what makes us happy. I have a friend that for the month of February, wrote everyday on what she loved. So, I have really thought about this and have decided that I, as well as my kids, (we'll see if hubby wants to do it) will be making a list. (I know I love lists). The list will be 1,000 things that we are grateful for, thankful for and count as a blessing. Big things, little things, anything.
            I will keep a running list here of mine and share some of the kids blessings they write down as they come along. I'm sure they will come up with some great ones.
I will add to it as time goes one. I am wondering how long it will take me to get to 1,000.


             My Blessing List!

1. Clean Water
2. Clean air to breath (used to live in Corona! Stinky and smoggy).
3. toothbrushes and toothpaste
4. my incredible husband
5. my wonderful children (I never dreamed of having 4!)
6. a warm house to live in
7. a car that is paid for
8. my ocean view
9. being saved
10. our church
11. dear friends 
12. a full pantry and refrigerator
13. a great natural Doctor
14. Dr. Bob
15. the beach
16. internet
17. chocolate (I would put sweet tea but, I am fasting from it right now. I'll save that one).
18. my car that is big enough to put everyone and still have room for groceries
19. Trader Joe's
20. Heat (it's cold today. Ha ha! 55.)
21. home-schooling
22. pounds dropping (albeit slowly) from the scale
23. My grandmother is still alive and my kids have been to her place. (wish we could go more)
24. That I can pick up the phone and talk to my mom 
25. Showers
26. swimming pools
27. books
28. The Bible
29. Prayer
30. Learning a lesson quickly rather then banging my head too many times first.

Well, here are the first 30. It may take me a good long while but, I really think that this is a fantastic exercise for each of us. I am hoping to do some everyday but, we'll see if that happens.

Really, They Were That Good!!

Who knew they could be so yummy?!

          



            I never thought I would say that my family loved brussels sprouts. But, I found a recipe from my favorite blog, A Year of Slow Cooking , or as I remember her as The Crock-pot Lady.  I get the best recipes and ideas from her. You see, I have always liked my crock-pot. Then as I had more children, less time, and more mouths to feed, I started using it more and more. My friends actually think my fondness for- my crock-pot is a little strange, but, they always call me when they are looking for a particular kind of recipe. Now, I don't like the retro recipes with the onion soup mix and the cream of whatever soup. I use it all natural and fresh just like when I cook regularly.
              O.K. enough background. Here is this weirdly yummy recipe that I got from Stephanie O'Dea (which is her real name).

BRUSSELS SPROUTS


(I actually doubled everything for my family and there was only 8 sprouts left. I'm not kidding.)
1lb brussels sprouts
3 TBL Butter (I used a little more. I wonder if you could use Olive oil instead).
1TBL Dijon Mustard (Used Trader Joe's Aioli Garlic Mustard Sauce)
1/4 tsp Sea Salt
1/4 tsp Black Pepper
1/4 cup water

Directions:
Use a 4 quart slow cooker. Wash and trim the ends off of each sprout and cut in half.  Put everything in the slow cooker. Cover and cook on low for 4 hours or high for 2 to 3. When it is all done mix it well so the sauce gets on all of the sprouts (we had a few with too much mustard). The edges of the sprouts and the pot will get a bit brown and crispy looking. That is exactly what it is supposed to do.

Enjoy. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that only one small dude didn't enjoy them. He did eat them though. Everyone else (including my husband who hates brussels sprouts) had seconds. Little girlie started stealing little dudes when he was talking. I am not making this up. We made 2 lbs and I put 8 sprouts in a container for left overs.

Well, let me know if you make this and how it turns out.

The Daniel Detox

          

My Daniel Detox

           I have been MIA for a long while. I am finding it difficult to get on my computer when there is so much going on around me. I am going to make an effort to blog again. So, here I am. Last time I was here it was just turning into the holidays. Always a busy time for us all. Rather than skip back I will move forward from where I am at now in life.
           I just finished a 7 day body detox. My church is doing a church wide health change. It is obviously voluntary but, it is a good way to change your health. (It is part of their Decade of Destiny). They have brought in 3 big name Dr.s to come up with the menus, and all of the particulars for us. There is a website if you want to look at what they are doing. The Daniel Plan 
          One of the Dr.s involved, Dr. Mark Hyman, has written several books and is a believer in functional medicine. Basically, the belief the food can heal you as well as make you sick. I agree with this belief. So I started looking at his books and found out he published one that was a 7 day detox or a kickoff to his other diet plan. The 7 day detox is called The Ultra Simple Diet . Well, it is all about toxicity and inflammation and getting rid of those things in your body that make you feel bad as well as fat. It is a lead up to his other book, Ultra Metabolism .
           I was going to use this detox as a worship or fasting for God. I knew that doing this by myself (my husband got pneumonia and couldn't do it completely) was going to be next to impossible with 4 kids in the house. Not to mention the sick husband. I tried to recruit others to do it with me but, only got one taker to do it at the same time. My dear friend jumped right in. I really think it went great. It wasn't so hard until half-way through day 4 and all of day 5. I was exhausted and grouchy. Terrible grouchy. I had already given up my sweet tea (for the time being) several weeks before. As well as sugar, most gluten, and processed foods. This wasn't the hard part. (Although, I still think about drinking my tea on a daily basis). I wanted to eat something, anything other than brown rice and vegetables. I was tired of chicken. The usual problems on any diet. Well, I made it through with lots of  prayer. I fizzeled out half way through day 7. I was done. I texted my friend- "DONE. I am through."
          She calls (she was a day behind me and now that was 2 days she didn't have a companion to dream of chocolate), "You can't be done. I need a partner. Misery loves company. I'm Misery, you are company. Get it!?"
           Well, I should have blogged the adventure but, I was wanting my sweet tea and looking at the title of this blog made me cringe every time I got near doing it. I lost 4 pounds, and a couple of inches on my waist. I felt better day 8 then I have felt in awhile. And I am ready to jump into the next phase of Hymans diet. It should be way easier then the first one so I will be excited I think to do it. The next phase lasts 3 weeks. So, I will blog as I go. Hopefully, it won't all be about sweet tea and chocolate.
           I think tonight and tomorrow in preperation of the next part of my Daniel Plan, I will read and spend time praying about Daniel and remind myself that this is about God and his incredible strength and power. It is about my absolute inability to do this on my own. I want to loose all of the weight that has accumulated over the last 2 pregnancies, and the huge stress of the last 2 years (we all know nothing puts on weight like stress that we have no control over). I also want to feel good. I want to wake up ready to chase my 2 year old and 4 year old around the park. Not just stand there directing where they can go. I want to encourage others that with God's infinite power, you can truly do anything.