Mother Knows Best?

            I read an article that cut me right to the quick.  This mom wrote; The Opposite of a 'Tiger Mother": leaving your children behind. I was shocked that this woman wrote this and expected people to agree with her. Thought that there was many women that she was freeing from the bonds of motherhood. Well, maybe she will strike a cord with some women. But, how terribly sad for those children. I know she says that the kids are happy and like the arrangement but, what else could they say? First, children are adaptable. We have heard tale of children growing and even thriving in conditions that were unbearable to most of us. God made them rubbery. Bounce-able. She is sighting that men have done it for generations and, no one thinks any less of them. I disagree. Whether you are a mom or dad, that is the child that God blessed you with. There are many couples miserably suffering without children. They aren't just your responsibility, they should be your delight to care and love them.

            No, a man that choses to move 3,000 miles away from his children and not want any custody of them is despicable. Just like her. Children are not expendable. They need parents to love and guide them. Is this the Ultimate Me time or what?! That is how this starts you know. First, you buy into the, "I need ME TIME. So I can be a good parent. " The next progression is Vacations away (Yes, this really is encouraged in many parenting magazines today). To finally, society accepting this. A mother's abandonment of her children. I am appaled that this woman carried these children in her womb, supposedly was an attachment parent, and even a family bed mom. Then she leaves? How does that happen? Did anyone check her mental stability? Really, it sounds like the marital issues got the best of her. She feels slighted because her husbands job takes him away for days at a time and she is feeling abandoned by him. "It isn't fair if my husband doesn't take his turn caring for the kids." Have you heard that? How about, "take turns with getting up in the night to feed your baby. Even if you breast feed, he can go get the baby for you." These comments breed discontent. Life isn't fair. Remember hearing that in school? Marriage isn't a series of checks and balances. 

          "You take this trash out now and I will take it next time."

          What happens if he is paying the bills right then and you have to do it again? Are you going to get mad because, after all, it is his turn. This is where we get into trouble. Trying to make everything "fair" and "even". Is that love? Or is it marriage? Raising a family with someone else is caring for each other. You have strengths. So does your spouse. Use them. Maybe instead of each of you taking a turn going out with your friends for awhile, you could hang out together, or go for a walk somewhere together. 

  

            Your children will not always be little. There will be a day when they are all gone and you will have plenty of ME TIME. Yes, there are always days where we moms feel overloaded, and depleted. This will pass. You need to pray and ask God to fill you with HIM. That is why starting your day with prayer, meditation and His word is the best way to fight off these tiring days. Someday there will be no more diapers. Someday there will be no one waking you with a bad dream. God wants you to love these little ones. Everyday. Not when it is convenient. 

           One more perspective story and I will step away from this sad story. There is a very good Christian singer, Jana Alayra. She missed a red light on her way to church one day with her kids in the car. She was hit by another car and the car spun around. One of her beautiful little girls didn't make it. Here she was a busy mom like the rest of us. Busy, and probably running a little behind, like the rest of us. And in an instant her life was forever missing one of it's heartstings.  I know this is a harsh story and sad. But, please stop and think for a minute that every minute you have with your child or spouse could be the last moment you have with them. Do you really want it to be yelling at them? Or telling them all how you are not getting your fair share of time to yourself? Stop and think about what is important.

            I know you are tired and yet you have no time to sleep. You can get through this rough patch. You will become a better person because of it and in the mean time are you motivating your child to reach higher than you did. Are you letting your spouse know that you are so blessed to be married to someone that loves you so much?  God has put you with the right child for you. Even though you might not see eye to eye. That is why God made two parents for your child. You can bounce off of each other. In the mean time, love each other. Spend time with each other. Find joy in each other.     

           

             Proverbs 6:20

 My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  

I wonder ladies, how can a child keep to his mother's teaching if his mother has abandoned him.

Gratefulness. My List of 1,000 Things to Be Grateful For. (Ongoing)

        


                                                       Blessings come in all kinds of packages!!


             So, I have heard so many sermons on being thankful. I've read blogs on being truly grateful. Goodness, one of my favorite songs to sing to the kids is "Count Your Blessings". I really only sing the chorus to it when they are falling asleep ( one of the songs they like).
            It all makes me wonder, am I truly thankful for what I have. Do I consistently yearn for more? What am I modeling for my kids? Are they content and grateful? Well, we really had a test recently about being grateful for things, money, etc. And a few times we have been tested by how grateful we were for health as well as the little things. We know that God has blessed us with everything that we have. Every breath we breathe, every heartbeat, every second of everyday, God has blessed us with. I have seen photos of people in Rwanda and other 3rd world places that people walk for miles to get water. That isn't our life. If we have to drive 6 miles to a grocery, to choose what we feel like eating this week, we get frustrated. My husband and I have an ongoing debate as to which Trader Joe's to go to. The one that is 1.5 miles or the one with the nicer employees, and better parking that is 2.5 miles (can you tell which side I am on?). This is a luxury problem. Not even a problem. Why do I forget or overlook that it is a blessing to disagree on which Trader Joe's to go to. Some people don't have a grocery or the ability to choose what they eat even. I don't need to preach to you. I am just putting my own heart in the right place.
            With that said, I know many people; celebrities, teachers, preachers, friends, even family, have encouraged us all to write down what we are grateful for, or maybe what makes us happy. I have a friend that for the month of February, wrote everyday on what she loved. So, I have really thought about this and have decided that I, as well as my kids, (we'll see if hubby wants to do it) will be making a list. (I know I love lists). The list will be 1,000 things that we are grateful for, thankful for and count as a blessing. Big things, little things, anything.
            I will keep a running list here of mine and share some of the kids blessings they write down as they come along. I'm sure they will come up with some great ones.
I will add to it as time goes one. I am wondering how long it will take me to get to 1,000.


             My Blessing List!

1. Clean Water
2. Clean air to breath (used to live in Corona! Stinky and smoggy).
3. toothbrushes and toothpaste
4. my incredible husband
5. my wonderful children (I never dreamed of having 4!)
6. a warm house to live in
7. a car that is paid for
8. my ocean view
9. being saved
10. our church
11. dear friends 
12. a full pantry and refrigerator
13. a great natural Doctor
14. Dr. Bob
15. the beach
16. internet
17. chocolate (I would put sweet tea but, I am fasting from it right now. I'll save that one).
18. my car that is big enough to put everyone and still have room for groceries
19. Trader Joe's
20. Heat (it's cold today. Ha ha! 55.)
21. home-schooling
22. pounds dropping (albeit slowly) from the scale
23. My grandmother is still alive and my kids have been to her place. (wish we could go more)
24. That I can pick up the phone and talk to my mom 
25. Showers
26. swimming pools
27. books
28. The Bible
29. Prayer
30. Learning a lesson quickly rather then banging my head too many times first.

Well, here are the first 30. It may take me a good long while but, I really think that this is a fantastic exercise for each of us. I am hoping to do some everyday but, we'll see if that happens.

Really, They Were That Good!!

Who knew they could be so yummy?!

          



            I never thought I would say that my family loved brussels sprouts. But, I found a recipe from my favorite blog, A Year of Slow Cooking , or as I remember her as The Crock-pot Lady.  I get the best recipes and ideas from her. You see, I have always liked my crock-pot. Then as I had more children, less time, and more mouths to feed, I started using it more and more. My friends actually think my fondness for- my crock-pot is a little strange, but, they always call me when they are looking for a particular kind of recipe. Now, I don't like the retro recipes with the onion soup mix and the cream of whatever soup. I use it all natural and fresh just like when I cook regularly.
              O.K. enough background. Here is this weirdly yummy recipe that I got from Stephanie O'Dea (which is her real name).

BRUSSELS SPROUTS


(I actually doubled everything for my family and there was only 8 sprouts left. I'm not kidding.)
1lb brussels sprouts
3 TBL Butter (I used a little more. I wonder if you could use Olive oil instead).
1TBL Dijon Mustard (Used Trader Joe's Aioli Garlic Mustard Sauce)
1/4 tsp Sea Salt
1/4 tsp Black Pepper
1/4 cup water

Directions:
Use a 4 quart slow cooker. Wash and trim the ends off of each sprout and cut in half.  Put everything in the slow cooker. Cover and cook on low for 4 hours or high for 2 to 3. When it is all done mix it well so the sauce gets on all of the sprouts (we had a few with too much mustard). The edges of the sprouts and the pot will get a bit brown and crispy looking. That is exactly what it is supposed to do.

Enjoy. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that only one small dude didn't enjoy them. He did eat them though. Everyone else (including my husband who hates brussels sprouts) had seconds. Little girlie started stealing little dudes when he was talking. I am not making this up. We made 2 lbs and I put 8 sprouts in a container for left overs.

Well, let me know if you make this and how it turns out.

The Daniel Detox

          

My Daniel Detox

           I have been MIA for a long while. I am finding it difficult to get on my computer when there is so much going on around me. I am going to make an effort to blog again. So, here I am. Last time I was here it was just turning into the holidays. Always a busy time for us all. Rather than skip back I will move forward from where I am at now in life.
           I just finished a 7 day body detox. My church is doing a church wide health change. It is obviously voluntary but, it is a good way to change your health. (It is part of their Decade of Destiny). They have brought in 3 big name Dr.s to come up with the menus, and all of the particulars for us. There is a website if you want to look at what they are doing. The Daniel Plan 
          One of the Dr.s involved, Dr. Mark Hyman, has written several books and is a believer in functional medicine. Basically, the belief the food can heal you as well as make you sick. I agree with this belief. So I started looking at his books and found out he published one that was a 7 day detox or a kickoff to his other diet plan. The 7 day detox is called The Ultra Simple Diet . Well, it is all about toxicity and inflammation and getting rid of those things in your body that make you feel bad as well as fat. It is a lead up to his other book, Ultra Metabolism .
           I was going to use this detox as a worship or fasting for God. I knew that doing this by myself (my husband got pneumonia and couldn't do it completely) was going to be next to impossible with 4 kids in the house. Not to mention the sick husband. I tried to recruit others to do it with me but, only got one taker to do it at the same time. My dear friend jumped right in. I really think it went great. It wasn't so hard until half-way through day 4 and all of day 5. I was exhausted and grouchy. Terrible grouchy. I had already given up my sweet tea (for the time being) several weeks before. As well as sugar, most gluten, and processed foods. This wasn't the hard part. (Although, I still think about drinking my tea on a daily basis). I wanted to eat something, anything other than brown rice and vegetables. I was tired of chicken. The usual problems on any diet. Well, I made it through with lots of  prayer. I fizzeled out half way through day 7. I was done. I texted my friend- "DONE. I am through."
          She calls (she was a day behind me and now that was 2 days she didn't have a companion to dream of chocolate), "You can't be done. I need a partner. Misery loves company. I'm Misery, you are company. Get it!?"
           Well, I should have blogged the adventure but, I was wanting my sweet tea and looking at the title of this blog made me cringe every time I got near doing it. I lost 4 pounds, and a couple of inches on my waist. I felt better day 8 then I have felt in awhile. And I am ready to jump into the next phase of Hymans diet. It should be way easier then the first one so I will be excited I think to do it. The next phase lasts 3 weeks. So, I will blog as I go. Hopefully, it won't all be about sweet tea and chocolate.
           I think tonight and tomorrow in preperation of the next part of my Daniel Plan, I will read and spend time praying about Daniel and remind myself that this is about God and his incredible strength and power. It is about my absolute inability to do this on my own. I want to loose all of the weight that has accumulated over the last 2 pregnancies, and the huge stress of the last 2 years (we all know nothing puts on weight like stress that we have no control over). I also want to feel good. I want to wake up ready to chase my 2 year old and 4 year old around the park. Not just stand there directing where they can go. I want to encourage others that with God's infinite power, you can truly do anything.

The Invisible Woman

This touched my heart today. I have days where I sometimes will say, " Why am I doing this? Why do I put in so much effort into what I am doing with my life and family? No one cares. No one sees. " Some days I wonder why I think that I am making any difference in the world. Couldn't I be out doing something more important? Something more rewarding? Just BE out? This is why we moms do all we do. You are important. And you are doing a job that is noticed. Just not by those around us. We are doing the job that God asked us to do. So treat yourself to an extra glass of sweet tea today and know that HE Sees you.

Christmas Cards

            Yes, it is early still but, I always get my cards at (my favorite store) Target.  Well, Target gets their cards in right after Halloween. That is really early. All of the good cards are gone by Thanksgiving. And since I need an absurd amount, 70 or so, if I wait they don't have enough of the ones I want. So, every year after Halloween, I pick up my ridiculous amount of Christmas cards for a great price.
             That is the easy part. Usually, I try to put a picture on the card of the kids. (I mean who really needs to see me and my husband and talk about the weight we have gained, lost, gained, lost,...) That means I have to get down to the mall (I don't like the mall anymore now that I have 4 kids) Around Thanksgiving to get the Santa picture. It all seems so timely. And a huge bother. I do love the picture of the kids but, I get tired of having to always beat the crowds.
             This year I am really excited. Our church offered free Christmas pictures at the new campus that we are opening on Christmas Eve. Well, they are of the whole family. (Yes, everyone will get to see where I am in my lost, gained, lost, gained, cycle). They turned out fantastic. What is better is that we had a family picture when we moved into our last house 10 years ago. That is also 2 kids ago. We really wanted a new family picture for over the fireplace. I am thrilled to say, this picture will work and we can order the prints online so I don't have to stand in line with all of the kids.
             All I have to do now is get all of the addresses in the computer again so I can print up address labels. And stuff them, and write in them, and...
             Have you done your cards yet? How do you do yours?
            

This is my cute little troop.

             I will be posting some new baby tips in the next post in honor of my cute niece that is due Thanksgiving with her first baby.

World Domination

        
             A friend wrote on Facebook that her baby was up at 5:45 this morning. The morning she really had planned to sleep in. Now the baby was asleep an hour later and she is awake.
              My reply is simple. They know our schedules and deepest desire for sleep and the plan of all children the world round, is to defeat all mom's extra sleep. They believe that a tired mama is easier to manipulate to get their way. They may have something there. Maybe the plan is much bigger, world domination.... Hahahaha.. Evil laugh. 
Yea, lack of sleep here too. Obviously. The slap happiness is a dead ringer.

             Even funnier is that I was talking to another friend this morning and was telling her how I have taken the highchairs out of the kitchen. There wasn't enough space. I replaced them with a plastic picnic bench. Yea, like that is a relaxing meal waiting to happen. My husband says after the littles have been up 15 times, "Where are the highchairs?"

            "Gone. There wasn't enough room." I think he would have rather stepped around them then watch me get up so many times during dinner. I would have never let my first 2 get away with that. They sat in a highchair until they were... I don't know 4. It was clean and easy. Little girl is 2. I don't know what I was thinking. 

            I am waiting for the landlord to call and ask why is the water bill so high. How do you explain it is because my little ones take at least 2 baths a day because it is the best place to put them so they will sit still and are happy so I can get something done. (I don't leave them alone. I will work in the bathroom or sit the 13 year old in the room with a book. Then everyone is happy). They are the cleanest kids in town. 

            My favorite time of day is the end of the day when we are all bathed (hm a trend?) and in jammies. Everyone is in bed. I can plop on the couch and watch something. Anything. I'm tired it doesn't really matter what it is. 

           I love my kids dearly. They are fun and precious. I wonder why we don't have kids when we are younger and have more energy? Oh yea, because then we are kids ourselves.