Mommy-dom Part 1

             So many people have written about the phenomenon of Mommy-dom. It may seem over done. But, I am going to do it too. I can't help it. It is my life. I have so much fodder for this subject. It is probably going to take on a life of it's own and be more then one post. Maybe a series. It already has a life of it's own because I was writing notes on it during church. And it was a great sermon. Not a sleepy, I wish I had slept in kind of sermon either. I just couldn't stop myself. The notes came even after we got home. I don't usually write notes for my blog. It just happens. Much of what happens in Mommy-dom just happens.
             It all started with a card I bought for my niece's baby shower. It was super cute. The kind you are totally proud of finding. You want to write on it, "I didn't just grab the first baby shower card I could find. I found a good one." It had a globe on it and named all of the places you will be going in Motherhood. Laundry mountain, that kind of thing. It made me giggle because it is true. Motherhood, parenthood, Mommy-dom all are words for this place we seem to go once we give birth to our little darlings. You say it won't change you, your marriage, anything. But, it does. It always does. If it didn't, well I guess you wouldn't be parenting. Not all changes are the same for everyone, But, there are many changes that everyone experiences.
              I will pick one at a time and tell you how it changes for so many of us. If you have never had a baby or are about to have your first, I am giving you a rare look into the secrets behind the curtain. The secrets that we really don't share readily with soon to be parents. Why? I'm not sure. Many reasons really. Mostly, you wouldn't listen anyway and you would think we were just trying to burst your happy bubble. That isn't the case. It isn't all bad things that change. We really change as people, not just our routines, but sometimes even our values and beliefs. Sometimes you actually realize you have beliefs and values. You never thought about it intentionally before, but, you do have them.
              Let's start with the obvious one. This one cannot be hidden. It is the changes in our bodies. Remember how cute your belly was in high school or in your early 20's. Yea, sorry. I do have one bizarre friend (she will know who she is), mom of 4 and has always had a flat stomach. Mine wasn't that flat when I was 10. What is worse, she loves chocolate and coffee and other nasty food we aren't supposed to love. ( We all know those things are what keep us slightly sane).  People with those spectacular genes are (I am going to say it ) FREAKS!! It is not normal. I still love her though. The rest of us, well... It is really hard to get your body back to any kind of shape you had before. Especially after multiple children. Great advice if you want several children and you love your body; either adopt, or wait a good 3 years between each kid. It gives your body time to find it's shape again and your little one to stop nursing. We all know nursing is best. Not only for our little ones but, for mom. The anti-cancer claims have been very vocal on this point. I know many can't nurse or choose not to. But, I am a Boob Nazi, so I can't apologize for feeling that the breast is best advice should always be given.  Boobs... will never be the same.
                 There is other changes in your body that you didn't expect happen as well. We all have heard the whispering of things like hemies and stretch marks. Come on, we almost expect that stuff. Here are some things that no one remembers to tell you. Your skin, it will oscillate between being very dry and flaky to getting Mount St. Zito on your chin. Some ladies have even reported growing hair our of their chin. I mean big, black icky hair. The kind you pluck.
                 Oh and your hair. Did anyone mention the fact that it seems to all fall out at once after the baby is here? Yea, think bald spots in visible places. The amount that came out all day was scary, the amount that came out in the shower, WOW! it looked like a mans hair rug. I could have made an entire wig about once every 2 weeks with the amount that fell out. Eventually it does come back but, until then it is really weird. 
                 All of this and more is a natural progression. Look at the pictures of Grandmas and pictures of moms, then look at pictures of teenagers. There is a changing that is natural. Sure we all know the grandmas with the hard bodies. We have seen them. Even applaud them. But, do you think a kid really wants to snuggle up on the couch with Grandma Hard Body or squishy comfy Grandma. No one wants to be known as squishy but, it does make a more comfy cuddle option. Besides how many teenagers really want their mom in a skimpy hot bikini when their friends come over. Yes, I know about the mom's that are "hot". The ones that are cool and beautiful but, REALLY? I seriously doubt many kids really want that to be their mom.
                Which will bring us to the next topic, clothing, and more.

Dog Training Vs. Kid Training

            Am I the only person who notices that people that are very into training their dogs, I mean really training them, have really chaotic kids? Why is that? I mean Dog Whisperer trained dogs. You know the ones that take their dogs out for runs 2 times a day? Their kids are wild and unruly. I have seen them scream and wear pull-ups until they are 5, but the dog would hold it's potty until the cows come home. Just an obnoxious observation today. We have so many dog walking people in out neighborhood. We have much time to observe this phenomenon. Sad really.

A Visit From the Binky Fairy

          

           Son number three is having a birthday this next week. Since he is turning 4 I thought it would be a great idea to start talking about the Binky Fairy. All of my children have used one. I am not sure if you know what  a binky is but, in our house it is the pacifier. Well, my son seemed skeptical about giving it up. Even for a prize in it's place. And honestly, my husband did the whole, "Are you sure about this? He sleeps so good. He is a good napper." In my experience letting go of the binky can totally ruin a good napper. So after his talk, I was a little hesitant to push the Fairy visit. Well, my darling little boy tells me at bedtime that he is ready to do it. I promptly start talking him out of it. I mean, maybe it would be fine if he had it a little longer. I love nap time. It also means, as my husband put it, that we have one less baby in the house. Yes, we know he isn't a baby but, there are milestones (we've talked about these before) that choke us parents up as much as if not more than the first tooth and haircut. There are so many more things that mean your child is moving towards being an independent being. They are good things. In fact they are great. Just milestones worth taking pause over. Well, the night came and he had trouble going to sleep. So much so, I forgot to change out the Binky Box with the prize. Thankfully, my husband checked when he woke up and reminded me. I'm just glad it was a morning that the little guy ended up sleeping in. Late night and all. So the gift was exchanged (CARS Guys of course). Son wakes up and is so thrilled. He said these were special ones that the fairy must have gotten at the Fairy factory (oh there is a Fairy factory?) because he had never seen these before. I had stashed them for his birthday. Oh well, I will get him something else. The fairy gets credit for these.

                                               Elvis and Marco are their names they are cool.

Just thought I would share one of those special milestones in our family. For the record, it has been two days. He got out of bed 2 times last night and couldn't sleep for nap yesterday. Then he didn't want to fall asleep in the car today without the binky. He finally did. Not very long yet. I think I might miss the binky more than he does.

Spending Time With Each Other

           We are going to the aquarium tomorrow. My youngest son is very excited. Well, they all are. I mean, it's a field trip right? Who doesn't like a field trip. And one big enough there isn't much of a chance of being able to get home in time to do school work.
            We never really did many field trips before. I guess I mean, before things started to change for us financially. It always seemed like we could do it another day. My husband needed to work, I needed to do laundry. Whatever it was, there were other things to do. We could do those neat field trips later. I guess.  While my husband was out of work we spent a lot of time together as a family. Everyday really. It was strange but, kind of wonderful too. We all actually like each other. I did laugh that my husband and I were turning into my mom and dad. You know, always together. He would drop me off for my haircut appointments and come back to get me. Not to save money. Just because we were always together. All of that together time did something to us though. Something strange that you wouldn't have expected. It made us appreciate each other and the time we spend together. My husband was there to see everything we do all day and even was a part of it. Yes, we were freaked out that he wasn't working and that we might have to move into a cardboard box. But, we clung to each other more. Truth moment- I was scared.  I was so scared that I could cry now thinking about it. We aren't out of the clear. We are still struggling but, God is providing for us our daily bread. That is what he has promised. We really learned to look to each other for strength and comfort. I know many couples break up or fight tremendously during financial disaster. We didn't. Don't get me wrong, our life wasn't sunshine and rainbows. We were both scared. We had just had  baby number 4 and everything collapsed. What do you do?
              Back to field trips. Why are they so important now? Because it occurred to us both in that time of hardship and togetherness that we don't know what is around the next bend. We don't know how much time we have. We may plan for the next 5 years but, who says God is going to give us 5 years?  And (as our pastor said a couple of weeks ago) what are you going to do with them, worthwhile to deserve them? Are you spending your time always assuming you have plenty of time to do whatever? Or do you live to serve Him and love those people God has blessed you with? If it is a picnic in the park, a walk in the harbor, even a trip to the aquarium. Make the time you have here count. Don't make God sad he gave it to you. Also, speak up for Him. The neighbor you see everyday getting the mail, does he know Christ? What, are you keeping salvation a secret? Do you think God wants to have a secret society? I don't think so. I once read a mad, ranting letter from a step-daughter to her parents. She said she didn't believe in God. Also, if they did, and believed that she and everyone else that didn't give their life to Christ was going to Hell, why are we Christians so placid about it? Why don't we scream from the mountain tops? Are we so selfish we want to keep Heaven for ourselves? Whoa. what?  This girl really said, that if we truly looked around us with our Christian eyes on, and thought that these people are going to burn in hell for eternity, how can we live with ourselves? Isn't saving someone from burning in hell for eternity worth a period of uncomfortable awkwardness? This really freaked me out. Try it. Look around you and who is it that says they don't believe there is a God and you think, they're entitled to their opinion. Really? Do you really believe it is an opinion? Or is it the Truth? Yes, this is a night time rant, but, this is what is in my brain tonight.
                In short (too late), spend time with the ones you love. They and you won't always have each other. It could be you in the IHOP eating dinner alone, watching the other younger families eating together. Wishing you had one more day to visit with your husband, wife, kids, whoever. Don't you want to have wonderful memories of your darling ones? Better yet, hopefully they will ask you to dinner. Then, live for God. He died for you. Who would you die for?
               God loves you and wants to spend time with you. So  does your family. Who is it you need to spend time with? Your Grandma? Your spouse? Your kids?
               End of nighttime rant. Now go love on the family God blessed you with. I'll be petting sharks tomorrow. Bye.

In The Comfort Zone

            I went and got a haircut today. Woo Hoo!! I haven't gotten one in far too long to admit. The best part about going, is that I took my husbands truck that is so nice. I drive the Land yacht (an old Suburban). He drives a beautiful truck with leather seats, an air conditioner that works all of the time. Not just sometimes and satellite radio. Yes, that is the part I love. No static, no kids listening in and talking and I can listen to the total 80's station. I just dated myself but, that is O.K.
            So, there I am listening to Prince, the Bangles, Huey Lewis and the News, and Prince. I am belting the songs out and dancing in my seat without any concern of embarrassing someone (mainly the newly teen) else in the car. You know, someone might see me and that is awful to even think about. I don't really listen to a whole lot of radio and 80's music with my kids in the car because, well, ... you know. The lyrics. They aren't really um, appropriate not only for my kids but, for a Christian to be singing. I mean, I don't think AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long", is really hymn friendly. But, man, it rocks. Well, I started thinking about this little dilemma. Why do I love to listen and sing these songs, even though I know there isn't an ounce of goodness in them. It's the comfort and familiarity. When I hear the opening few notes, I am sent into another time and place. I can remember racing down the Pacific Coast Highway with all of the windows open, my hair flying, and the music blasting. I am not wanting to go back to that time. It just feels so familiar. So comfortable. I realized, that is how Satan gets us so many times. We feel like it isn't that bad. I'm just ,______, (you plug in what it is). It is a comfortable place. It is so easy to fall into the pattern of comfort. When someone tries to break a habit, usually because it is comfortable, they want to fall back into it. Maybe you always smoke a cigarette right after dinner, or have a drink of wine after a hard day, that turns into a bottle. Maybe it is more subtle then that. Maybe, you want to start a new habit. You want to read your bible every morning, or get up and go to church on Sunday. But, in both instances, the bed is really warm and comfortable. And we make excuses. But, the truth is that the Devil knows our weak spots. He knows our comforts. He knows that if he can make us feel comfort that we don't really want to break that habit.
              Comfort. From the very beginning our Mothers try to bring us comfort. She holds a special way, rocks us, maybe sings to us. All to bring us comfort. But, what so often brings us happiness can cause us to get stuck in a rut. It can make me say, I don't want to serve at church right now because it will make my Tuesday nights too busy and crazy. I don't want to help out with the Motels Ministry because it will interfere with my time I like to go to church. I don't want to go to Rwanda because it is scary and I might catch something. All of those excuses are about my comfort. Not what someone else might need. Not what God might be wanting me to do.
             Matthew 8:20 and Luke 9:58   both say,
Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

         If Jesus wasn't in comfort, why do I think I should be? Comfort versus Radical actions. HMM. I am far from being someone that is a radical. But, is that what I am called to do? I never thought of comfort and radical as being words that were necessarily opposites. But, stop and think. They are. If you are a radical are you really ever comfortable? 

        My family has been through so much discomfort this last year or two that I have to say, it's O.K. to be uncomfortable. It didn't kill me. I am still here. I am definitely not the same person I was before. But, I think I am a better person because of it. Does that mean that discomfort or radicalness can cause me to grow and change. That would be a YES. IF it is radicalness for Jesus and to further our Lord's kingdom then I would have to say YES. Most definitely. 

        So, now I have to ask myself, what am I willing to do that is Radical for God? I'm not sure. I guess, I am a little stumped there. Truth, I'm not ready for Rwanda. But, I am ready to serve more where I am needed at church. I might be ready to serve in our community. A motel ministry? O.K. That is a distinct possibility. 

         The biggest change has to be for me to say,"Lord, what do you want me to do? I am ready and willing to serve you in the fashion that you see best. " O.K. more truth. That is scary. With all He has done so far in our lives, what has he got in store for us now??? 

         Also, I think I better stick to driving my Land Yacht so I don't want to listen to the 80's. 

The Bad Word.

            Well, a bad word has made its way into my families lives. It is a little ridiculous and ... O.K. funny. It's not like we allow them to say it or any of the bad words for that matter. For goodness sakes, Stupid, is still on the list of don't say.
            You are going to need a little back history. We were learning about the animals that live on the Savannah. Besides lions and zebras, there are the wild asses that roam free. PEALS of laughter. Yes, I read it. I wasn't paying attention but, I guess if that is what they are called I can't argue. I didn't name them.
            Flash forward. We went to the zoo and they have a new section and there are wild donkeys. No, my boys yelled out. "Those aren't wild donkeys. They are wild asses. Dad says they are called Jack Asses. " O.K. true but, can we not yell it?
            Flash forward again. The kids on the street like to do this terrible game where they do UFC fighting. These are little boys. 6-13 years old. I know what you are thinking but, the 6 year old is the worst instigator of them all. My boys are not allowed to participate in this activity. These boys get violent. I have seen neighbors that don't have kids put their heads out their windows, telling the boys to stop beating up on each other. It looks bad. Well, the 6 year old is the worst offender of this activity of them all. He doesn't get that he can't antagonize my boys into doing it anyway. So he starts kicking my 10 year old in the shins. I'm not kidding. Kicking him in the shins! O.K. I would have kicked him back. My darling son, who is not known for his self control, got mad and screamed (you see it coming don't you???!!!) , " Knock it off, you JACKASS!"
               6 year old clicks into 6 year old world and yells, " I'm going to tell your mom!" And takes off running. All the other kids yelling after him not to. Well I can hear the commotion because I live in the corner house that can hear and see all. Like a watchtower.
               Truth is I had a hard time when I heard what happened not saying, " Well, I guess you call them like you see them son." What do you do in this instance? What can you say? Of course I told him he couldn't use language like that (even if it were true). Well, what would you have said?
               So now my children have a new "bad word" in their vocabulary, that they are not supposed to use. Yea, sure. Now I feel like the Jack Ass.

Mississippi Mud Cake

            My husbands family got together for the Labor Day holiday to eat dinner. I brought "a little something sweet" (as my Grandma always says). It is probably a little mean of me to bring it because both of my in-laws have to take extra insulin just to have a little. Sorry. But, it was good. I didn't bring much home after. The recipe was new to me. I think it is a bit like a Texas Sheet Cake (which I LOVE!!) but, with marshmallows. I also think it would be way good with pecans on top but, my family hates nuts in cakes so. If you put nuts in it will you tell me if it was good? Thanks.

I should have taken a picture of a cut piece. The cake is a cross between cake and brownie texture.

Mississippi Mud Cake

• 2 cups plain flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 stick butter
• 1/2 cup oil
• 4 TBL unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 cup plus 1 tsp. cold water, divided
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 1-10 oz. bag mini marshmallows

1. Sift flour, sugar, salt, and baking soda together (I just stirred them). 
2. Bring butter, oil, cocoa, and one cup of water to a boil.
3. Add eggs, one teaspoon cold water and buttermilk. Mix well.

Pour into greased and floured 9 x 13 pan and bake at 37 for 25 to 30 minutes. Top with Marshmallows while still hot and pour icing (recipe below) over the top. 

You will want have the icing finishing right as the cake comes out of the oven. 

Icing

• 1 stick of butter
• 3 TBL Cocoa
• 6 TBL milk
• 1 -16 oz. box confectioner's sugar
• 1 tsp. vanilla

1.  Combine butter, cocoa and milk in a pan.
2. Bring to a boil.
3. Add sugar and mix well.
4. Add vanilla.
5. Pour over hot cake as soon as it comes out of the oven.

Optional: chopped pecans sprinkled on would be so good. If you like nuts...